Scars, Suicide and Australians

Lying, Cheating Skanks

Anas POV

I knew Brooke was sleeping with other guys. I walked in on her fucking a random on the tour bus. She made me promise not to tell anyone, so I told Becky and Emily, because I'm a badass punk who doesn't give a fuck. Even though I knew she was fucking others it still broke my heart to see Ash so upset. Being with 5sos for so long, Ashton felt like a brother and I seriously wanted to fuck her face up for breaking him. Well, I would have but hitting her would have made her look better. I walked through to the bunks, thank god they were empty, and shoved my phone in to the docking station, blasting my playlist for when I'm angry and I just want to scream.

Thankfully, the first song that came on was Can You Feel My Heart by Bring Me The Horizon, a song I knew I could properly scream along to, releasing some of my anger, frustration and hurt. Yes, I was hurt for a reason that no one knew, not even Becky or Emily who I would normally tell anything.

To be frank, I knew what Ash was going through. Luke had cheated on me merely two days before Brooke cheated on Ash, with Leanne, the girl we all thought had gone, not to come back. As Oli quietly sang I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim, I broke down. Collapsing on to the closest bed, I let the tears roll, wracking my chest with sobs. As the docking station was within arms reach, I extended my arm and turned the music up so no one would hear me sobbing. At this point Bulletproof Love by Pierce The Veil came on, making me cry harder as it was pretty much based around the suicide note of someone who they loved deeply cheated on them.

This isn't fair!

Don't you try and blame this on me, my love for you was bulletproof but you're the one who shot me.

As those lyrics played, what I thought had been bad before became heart-wrenching. I hit repeat on the song and rolled over, burying my face on what I now knew was Michaels pillow. Faintly, I heard footsteps walk on the bus which made me flip the pillow over and run straight to the connecting bathroom, to control myself and wash my face so I could reapply my eyeliner and make it look like nothing had happened.

After twenty three deep breaths I had stopped crying so I gathered my hair into a messy bun with the ponytail band constantly on my wrist and splashed my face with cold water. As I stood to face the mirror, I pulled a disgusted face at my blotchy skin and red eyes. I sighed and reached for my wash kit, grabbing foundation, powder and eyeliner to cover it up. When I was done I sighed yet again at my reflection. It wasn't too bad but if you got close enough you could see my sad eyes behind the fake smile. It would have to do. I put away my makeup and flushed the toilet to make it look less suspicious, before drawing up my most realistic smile and stepping out the bathroom.

Immediately Ashton ran over and hugged me, telling me he had seen Brooke with another guy. I rubbed his back and told him he was worth more than that skank, wishing I could take my own words in to my own thoughts about Luke. He squeezed me again and thanked me before letting me go. Next up to hug me was Cal, who let go quickly and was replaced by Luke, who was replaced by Emily, then Ardyn, then Becky, and finally my best friend, Michael. He squeezed me tight and pulled me close.

"We need to talk" he murmured in my ear. I nodded slightly, know he could feel it against his chest as I was a midget and couldn't reach to fit my head in his shoulder. From across the other side of the room I saw Becky give me a concerned look. I shot her my most realistic face and she nodded, being far away enough to not notice the fakeness behind it. I reached to the docking station to turn the music down and take the song off repeat, hitting shuffle and sitting down on the big sofa.

a/n award to the biggest fucking prick goes to luke brooks u feel

sorry I haven't updated in over two weeks, I was on holiday for a week last week and the week before I just didn't have the time to write but I hope you enjoy this

quick heads up idek what's going to happen next any ideas are greatly appreciated just pm me with the first line saying ideas for SS&A then a line then whatever y'all wanna say