What Love? // p.jm ✔️

// Chapter 20 \\

// One Month Later \\

Jimin.

He was the one and only thing I thought of.

Of course, I don't work at his company anymore. I've been transferred over to a different company.

I haven't seen Nayeon or Jimin since the incident, nor was he head of editing anymore. Just like that, they disappeared without a word. As it turns out, Nayeon forced her parents to follow whatever order she gave them, which I wasn't surprised about.

Putting up this "happy façade" has been painfully difficult.

Every time I come home I lock myself in my room and cry until I fall asleep.

I haven't been able to get my mind off him.

Work has been agonizingly terrible, too. I want to quit so badly. I couldn't be let off easily; Nayeon spread nasty rumors about me since she had connections and knows most of the people in my company, since she is the daughter of an extremely powerful CEO. Every time I walk by someone or a group of people, whispers and dirty looks are aimed at me subtly.

I wasn't eating or sleeping properly.

Seoyeon and I finally moved out to our own, separate apartments, not too far from mom though. Seoyeon also found a good job she was pleased with. I'm so very proud of my sister.

If my family ever knew what I was doing to myself, they'd be devastated. I'd definitely have to go back to therapy - which I was not complying to. It only stresses me out even more, but I've continued to request take my meds to keep my mental deformities in line.

I kept in contact with Jungkook, and from time to time he would come and visit me to check up on me. He was concerned for my health but never mentioned it to me - we weren't really that close, but I only had him in my life at the moment. He despised Jimin for what he did.

I laid in my bed as usual, agonizing over Jimin.

Then, a sudden wave of motivation hit me. I don't know what had gotten into me, but I began to grow tired of my sullen, unhealthy routine.

I sat up and walked over to my bathroom to take a good look at myself in the mirror. My apartment was livable - not too dirty and not too fancy. Average sized, one bedroom and bathroom, a small living room and kitchen. As long as I lived under a roof, I'd be fine.

Dark circles took over my eyes, making me a resemble a sleep deprived zombie. My hair hasn't been brushed in weeks - it's a tangled haystack, always tied in the same low messy ponytail. My hygiene was unacceptably overdue.

What the hell am I doing to myself? I couldn't even recognize the girl that stared back at me in the dirty mirror.

I let out a shaky sigh and decided it's finally time to stop sulking over a guy who never cared about me in the first place.

I undressed and went to take a long due shower. I thoroughly washed my hair, getting rid of the painful tangles that littered it, cleansed my face of all the salty tears that fell down my face every night for the past month.

I will be my own person.

I will move on from you, Park Jimin.

I won't depend on you anymore.

I stepped out of the shower, dried myself off, and grabbed my hair supplies.

Dressing in my comfy fuzzy pajamas, I sat in my small vanity and styled my hair in what felt like forever.

When I finished, I could finally recognize myself again. I grinned from ear to ear, and decided that the next step was making an appointment with my therapist.

I can't handle or hide this traumatic experience anymore. I need to start caring for myself again.

So I did just that; next Wednesday is my appointment. I sighed and checked the time; 7:00 pm.

My apartment was a complete mess. The fridge was practically deserted, and dirty dishes flooded the sink. I hadn't even bothered to drink any water and now I'm just noticing how dehydrated I was.

Couldn't hurt to go grocery shopping now - the fresh air will do me well.

It was beginning to get even colder than before outside; fall has arrived. I swung on my large, puffy black coat and pulled my hoodie over me. For extra warmth, I also put on my kumamon mask over my face. Grabbing my purse, I made sure to lock the door behind me.

The strong breeze of wind continuously barraged my face as I walked through the nighttime streets of Seoul. The convenience store wasn't too far from me - I'd say around 3 blocks down the street. I arrived fairly quickly and strode my way down the aisles, contemplating what I could purchase with what little money I currently had.

I gathered some snacks, lots of instant ramen, bottles of water and my usual ingredients for the one decent dish I could cook without ruining entirely - fried kimchi rice. I paid for everything and left in a dash; it seemed a storm was coming our way, for I felt several tiny droplets of water patter onto my head. I assumed correctly, because all of a sudden it began pouring rain and I was getting soaked. The winds turned into hail, and at this rate it felt like I'd never get home safely, until a hand interlocked with mine and roughly pulled me forward, making me run with them.

I couldn't see well since it was so dark, but an umbrella was held under this person and I and their back was turned to me. To my surprise we arrived at my apartment complex. Immediately when we got inside I jerked the person's arm to make them look at me.

It was Jungkook.

(A/N: The classic "can I stay at your home until the rain stops scene" is coming alive 😏👀 do you think anything will happen between Ara and Jungkook? 💜💜)