Lonely Hearts (Porter Robinson Fanfiction)

With or Without You

sorry for the late update - i actually edited LOADS of the first few chapters, so please go back and reread those if you'd like! i hadn't read them in quite some time, and i literally CRINGED after reading them. oh my god, my writing was so awful. how did you guys stick with the story? *hides underneath a building*

i also made a twitter!! follow me: electrikenzo :) and you should also hit me up on kik, because i really really really wanna talk to you all and become friends with you!! its: thebeautyunknown :)

anyways. hope you like this one! the emotions are strong. my heart is full of love for porter and worlds. i just wanna hug him lots and congratulate him for doing so gosh darn well and achieving his dreams and stuff (▰˘◡˘▰)

mucho love. xx

Worlds had released.

Porter was constantly busy.

He was leaving on tour in just two weeks. We both wanted to be with each other before he left, but every time we made plans something popped up. I knew that it wasn't his fault, but I spent a lot of time in my apartment, going through seasons of Desperate Housewives (yes, my boredom was coming to desperate measures) and eating obscene amounts of Thai takeout. Porter texted me often, from meeting to meeting, saying things like "I miss you so much" or "When all this is over, we'll go to NC and I'll show you around Chapel Hill." I had told him that I was going back to visit my parents before classes started back up in September, and he had readily agreed to come with me. That was before the tour dates were planned out and we both realized that it was now impossible to do so.

My phone had downloaded Worlds when it was dropped, and I had listened the the entire album on repeat, from Years of War to Fellow Feeling to Natural Light. The entire album was amazing and ambient. It was like looking straight into Porter's head and seeing all the images and thoughts inside, but in song form. I spent hours just laying down on my couch, listening to the synths and lyrics and everything that made the songs what they were. It honestly made me feel closer to him since he wasn't here. Like I could feel him through the music, here in the room with me, explaining the meaning and the inspiration behind the song.
I tried not to let myself get too down in the dumps and spent a lot of time at work, where Martin was anxiously preparing his songs and completely out of any conversations that involved him. Which probably wasn't the brightest thing, since his job revolved around interacting with people.
"Martin," I said, scrubbing ferociously at a glass in the warm water, suds all over my arms and wrists. Tomorrow night was Martin's big night, and he had spend his entire shift writing down changes to his list of songs to play, along with standing in the corner the entire time, which left me furiously rushing from person to person. "Can you get that girl over there?"
He tapped at his phone, his fingers flying over the screen. "Yeah, yeah, just hold on a second."
My eyebrows furrowed, and then I was wiping my hands and snatching the phone from him. His eyes widened in surprise, and then he became furious.
"I'm trying to prepare for this goddamn thing tomorrow and you can't just wait one fucking minute for me to -"
I shut his phone off, opened the cupboard, and threw it in there.
"Stop being a little bitch. You'll be fine."
I stepped away, leaving him staring at me with a mixture of anguish and bewilderment.
"Uh, did you just call me a little bitch?"
I poured a glass of tequila for the man sitting at the bar who was currently staring at us, trying hard not to express his evident amusement at Martin gawking from behind me. "Yes," I said. "Now throw out this bottle, will you?"
He stared at me for a second longer, then shook his head, taking the bottle from me. "Hey, is Porter coming tomorrow?"
I stopped in my tracks. I knew Martin really wanted Porter to come, but I knew that he was too occupied getting ready for the tour to do so.
"Its okay," Martin said, shrugging his shoulders. "Figures."
I realized I had spoken aloud, and I almost facepalmed myself. "Sorry Martin. I'm sure he would have loved to see you DJ." Softly smiling, I moved over to let him get to someone patiently waiting at the bar. I was more excited about tomorrow than anything. I knew Tess would be coming as well, and even though I had a fear of the crowd, I wanted to push past my fears and just lose myself in the music. Besides, I already knew that Martin would do absolutely amazing.
There was also the fact that Tess would be scrutinized by everyone in here, especially since a lot of the clubgoers were EDM fans and would be aware of everything that went on last week. To my surprise, people were actually feeling empathy for her and saying that she was a sweet person, but basically for one reason: Tess had posted a picture of her on Instagram, apologizing. It had blown The caption read: