Winning Back Mr. Right

Chapter 16

I fell asleep in the passenger seat on the way home. Sobbing too hard made my head pound. I feel so exhausted I wish I can take it all away – the pain, the tiredness, the anger, all of it. Half way down the road, I hear Nate's phone buzzing like crazy. He didn't answer it at first. I know he's trying to ignore it as much as he can because I literally am just sitting beside him and he knows how I hate those phone calls. But it won't stop. The buzzing keeps going until he loses his patience and answers it anyway. "What?!"

He sounds upset. Like someone is forcing him to do something he doesn't want to. "What do you mean we gotta roll?" He speaks softly, thinking I'm still asleep. "Are you fucking kidding me? I can't leave now. If I screw this up again, we're over. Dude. What do I do? She's got issues. Fuck! I'm on my way."

He speeds up all of a sudden.

I have let most of his little passive aggressive comments, teasing and actions roll off on backs. I can't believe he just said that. I close my eyes for a second and then I hear complaints from him.

As soon as we are outside my house, I face Nate with this ingrained aversion to the sight of him. "She's got issues? Wow. You really are something. The fact that you just said that makes me want to throw up right now. Sure. Maybe I do have issues." He tries to take my hand but I brush it away. He doesn't argue either. "You know what? Maybe you don't need to put up with it anymore."

I get out of his car without a word and slam the door behind me. Nate didn't follow. I suppose it's for the best.

I had another nice dream about Kevin, only to wake up alone in the middle of the night, sad and wishing it was true. Because I couldn't sleep again, I get out of bed and go to my dresser. I put my hair up to a bun and stare at my reflection for a second. Something inside of me is breaking. My life has become this one big I DON'T KNOW. I know I cry a lot for so many things, like sad movies or abandoned dreams. Stupid things too like songs that remind me of the past, and all the problems I created for myself in my head.

Nate and I have not said a word for 2 days now. I think I've told him more than what he needed to hear.

I turn around and find my painting set sitting right where I left it. Kevin's note is in the canvas supported by the wooden easel. I pick it up and read the note once more - REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE - KR. The person I used to be is lost at the moment with no clue about the future. So I place the note back where I took it and open one of the paint tubes. The smell registers in my senses. I realize how I miss everything about it. Then I thought, what the hell. I look around me and everything seems calm with just the right amount of light from the lamp beside my bed. From there, the next thing I know, my hands are moving in sync with everything else.

Time flies so fast it's nearly four in the morning. My phone rings which is unexpected, all the more when the person calling is Kevin. "Hello?"

"Hey, beautiful. I'm sorry for calling you this late." Then there's a pause. "I'm calling because... I miss you." My hands suddenly feel like they are being tased. I did not say a word. "You there?"

"Yeah. I'm here." I answer nervously.

"I thought I lost you. Is it because of what I said? Because it's true. I do miss you."

My breathing becomes heavier. "Why?" I ask, sounding desperate.

I hear him snicker a little. "I don't know. But ever since we met, I've known that we are special. I'm not sure if you feel the same way. But how we are around each other is different. I don't think I will ever meet anyone I could trust as much as I trusted you so easily. And honestly, while most people try to find that, you know, certain connection. I believe between us, it kind of was straightaway. I wish I can tell you this face to face."

Every single thing he said to me was true. It's probably because originally I did meet him first. And for as long as I can remember, he was my first friend and the first stranger I ever trusted. And as fate would have it, we meet again and the same cycle happens. I try to find the right words to respond to Kevin. All I came up with is, "It feels nice to be missed."

It really does.

"You have a boyfriend. I get that. As hard as it is to accept, no matter how much I like you, I respect your situation." Again, my heart hurdles a thousand times over. "He's a lucky man."

"Kevin..." Hearing it from him makes it surreal like I'm dreaming about us all over again. I pinch myself. "Don't worry. I'll try my best not to get between you and him." He laughs at his own joke. "Good night, babe. I mean, Aimee. Oh, and stop dreaming about me, ok?" As if he knows it's been going on a while now.

Our short conversation ended. He told me to go to sleep and that he'll try to find his way there too. I go back to my artwork and finish the rest of it with an inspiration from him. I put aside the brush and spread the last oozing paint to create a smudge effect on the canvas. I tilt my head to check the blending of colors and finalize the last touches.

Just as how I remember the sunset in the cliff glowing in the horizon...the picture reflected perfectly in front of me.