Dropping In: A Fillie story

It Comes and Goes In Waves

Second to last chapter!

Millie

I knock on the door to Maddie's big house with tears, heavy like bricks, spilling down my cheeks and clinging to my skin like rain on a window pane. It takes a second for someone to answer the door. I hear shuffling around in the foyer before Maddie's bright face answers.

"Hey Mills! Whats u-" she stops after noticing my bloodshot eyes and tears on my cheeks, "Oh my god Mills what's wrong," she pulls me inside the warm house and wraps her arms around me.

"Finn," I manage to squeeze out with a shaky breath.

"What did that little fucker do, because if he hurt you so help me god I'll go all Jackie Chan on his ass," she said clenching her fists.

"No, it's not that," I sniffed, "can we go up to your room?" I asked quietly.

We walked up the spiral staircase and shuffled down to the end of the long hallway to reach Maddie's room. I always liked Maddie's room, it was white grey and purple, and always smelled like lavender.

"Mills, what happened?" she asked once again as we sat down together on her daybed that sat in front of a window sill.

"Um so, the other day, Finn and I went to the lake, and everyone else wasn't at home. We got back pretty late about 12 in the morning," I sniffled again, "um and then we, um," I said looking up at her knowing that she could assume what happened next.

"OH MY GOD MILLIE BOBBY BROWN YOU HAD SEX WITH FINN WOLFHARD?" she screamed with wide eyes and grabbed my hand.

"Holy shit! Maddie shut up!" I exclaimed laughing for what felt like the first time in forever.

"It's ok, no one else is home except Mackenzie, but she's in the basement," she said, "but oh my god! Your first time! How did it feel? Was he like, uh gentle?" she asked bombarding me with tons of questions.

"Calm down! It felt, well I'm not gonna lie, it felt amazing, and he was super sweet the entire time, and to be totally honest we did it again in the shower the next morning," I chucked and wiped another tear from my eye.

"Millie!" Maddie playfully shoved me with a shocked expression.

"Um, but then this afternoon, we went to pick up Ava from her friend's house, and we got ice cream and when we got home Finn and I were getting ready to watch a movie, and he told me, um, he told me he was moving," I paused and took a deep breath in, saying it for the first time made it seem so real and inevitable, "he's moving to New York, fucking New York Maddie," I exhaled a shaky breath, "that's almost one thousand miles away,"

"Oh my god Mill's I'm so sorry," she said and threw her arms around my shoulders.

"The worst part it is, he knew before we, well before we even had sex, hell, he knew before I even told him I fucking loved him," I said with a small sob, "he just wanted me as another person he could say he fucked," I sobbed into her shoulder.

"Mill's I'm so so sorry," Maddie said rubbing her hands up and down my back and squeezing me tighter.

"I just can't be in the same place as him anymore Mads, I told him he could stay for the last 2 days until his mom gets back, but then I want him out of my life, for good," I sobbed even harder.

"It's gonna be alright Mills, you can stay here until he's out of your life for good," she pulled me closer to her.

"It just hurts Mad's. The pain, it just comes and goes like waves," I sniffled, "you think that the tide might retreat for a second, and you can have calmer waters and it will stop hurting just for a second, but they just keep coming," I cried into her shoulder, "cold and dark and terrifying," I just cried and cried until I floated into a dreamless sleep.