strawberries & cigarettes || YOONMIN ✔ wattys2019

{ 27 }

-mention of sexual abuse

-

"Jimin, i'm bored. That's so unfair. You get to lay in bed all day long and i just have to sit here and do nothing. You're not even allowing me to smoke ",yoongi complained. He has been next to jimin all the time. Even when jimin was asleep he was next to him.

Jimin rolled his eyes, turning around so he wasn't facing yoongi anymore. Sometimes, yoongi was a little bit too honest and jimin was a very sensitive person. He didn't like feeling like he was too much.

"I was kidding, jimin. Don't be upset",yoongi said tucking on jimins pink blanket . Yoongi knew that his words weren't always the nicest but he had a hard time expressing his feelings and showing love. Life has taught him to be cold.

"You know that you don't have to stay, right?" Jimin mumbled, still not looking at yoongi .

"I know that, but I want to be here ."

Jimin turned around, gazing at yoongi. He felt like he couldn't tell if yoongis words were all lies or not so he just looked at him, his heart starting to ache because someone as cold as yoongi meant so much to him.

Yoongi saw the pain in the youngers eyes, " Jimin, I'm ready to answer your questions."

Jimin nodded weakly, he took a deep breath before asking, "tell me the truth."

"About what?'

"Everything. Starting on from your parents. Why did you leave? Why did you come to Busan ?"

"They weren't really the nicest, Jimin. I'm not even sure if they deserve being called parents."

"What did they do?"

Yoongi inhaled deeply and bit his lips, " My father... Well, he wasn't my real father but he used to... abuse me. My mother never believed me, he seemed so fucking perfect for her but he was fucked up. A mess. I don't even know if my mother ever loved him or she just needed the money. Everytime he was drunk.. and that happened almost daily. He'd lose his mind and hurt me but it was better than him having his hands all over my body..."

Jimins eyes teared up. He looked at yoongi who bit his lips continuously to prevent himself from crying, "yoongi.. I.. I didn't..

"It's fine, Jimin. Do you wanna know why I lied to you? Why I said I don't like guys.. It's because I don't want to be like him. Like my father. I'm so disgusted at myself. Yes, I like guys too, Jimin. Maybe it's finally time to accept that.. But I can't.. I can't stop picturing my disgusting father.."

"Yoongi.. " Jimin whispered ,pulling yoongi to sit on his bed. He wrapped his arm around yoongi, laying his head on yoongis shoulder, " You won't be like him, just because you're gay. You're not like that yoongi. You're fucking amazing."

"And that's w-why.. My relationships never work out with guys, I can't, Jimin. it's haunting me everywhere. I'm not amazing, jimin. I'm a horrible person who cheated on so many of his boyfriends or would have one night stands with girls just to convince myself I'm not like him.. ".

Yoongi started sobbing uncontrollably, he placed his head on jimins lap crying his heart out. All of the things, he had kept for himself were finally spilled. A weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

Jimin slowly slid his fingers through yoongis soft hair, playing with it, " It'll be alright, yoongi. It's all over now. You can let go."

After a while of crying, yoongi sat back up and rubbed his eyes,"I can't believe I just told you everything I kept to myself for all these years."

Jimin smiled cupping yoongis face, "I can't believe you did either but now I understand everything." Then, he wiped yoongis tears with the sleeve of his sweater.

"But there's something else you need to know.. ",yoongi said with a husky voice as his tears started forming again "you're fucking driving me crazy, Park Jimin. "

Yoongi leaned in and placed a quick kiss on the corner of jimins lips. He wouldn't mind kissing jimin and getting sick but he didn't want to take things too fast. Jimin mattered a lot to him and he didn't want to make anything wrong .

Jimins eyes widened and blush spreads all over his pale face. He buried his face into yoongis chest shy and embarrassed mumbeling, "Asshole ."

"That's how you say thank you nowadays?"

"Yoongi, I'm hungry. Cook for me."

-

Sorry for this sad chapter! Thanks for all the love this story is getting.