The Badass Was Kidnapped

Prologue

"You know Lilli, you and your partner would make a cute couple!" I smile sweetly at the all too familiar cops infront of me. "Don't you agree Willow?" I ask the secretary. Yes, I was on first name bases with all of the cops here. Sort of.

I was currently sitting in the police station waiting room. Lilli, or officer Jenkins, and Will, or Officer Hand (Yes I know I laughed the first time I heard his last name too,) were currently sitting in front of me. You see I had been here so many times, they didn't bother to take me into the back. They simply sat me down and asked me what I did. Easy.

Everytime I came in, there was somebody different waiting in the waiting room, but they were also always the same. A poor relative worried about whoever it was they were there for. A giant man looking grim and ashamed that he even had to step into the station. A physco girl who had been here so many time they just questioned here in the waiting room, oh wait that's me! A rich father wanting to get his hands on his son, for being such a disgrace, did his son know that he was called out of a very important meeting. Well then again, for him every meeting was important. Either way it was the same old, same old. Did you know that at the end of this meeting I would go home, walking? I will, trust me. I'll get out of here with no punishment and it will all work out. Happens every week.

"Jessica. You know it's Officer Jenkins. And you've told us a billion times to many. Now, off the subject of Will and I,  why are you here this time?"  Lili sighs.

"Oh! I have prove you guys like each other! Number 1- First name bases at at work! Number 2- and I quote- 'Will and I!' Number 3- I don't know why I'm here. I was at Timmy's (Tim Horton's) and I saw a police officer eating a donut  and I was like "Oh!Cops do like donuts!" and he had a spaz at me so I was like "Whoa Boy, who peed in your donuts?" and he had another sapz so then I said "Whoa! Down Fatty! Go buy a donut!" and next thing I know I'm arrested!"

"Oh for fuck's sake! STOP CALLING COPS FAT!" Will yells and everyone turns to look at us. Smooth move Fatty.

"OK for one This is only the second time! Secondly, Lili, I hope you're ok with your kids growing up while yelling fuck all the time, because that's what's gonna happen if you let Fatty over here teach them how to talk! Ok, so three times now. Thirdly, ANGER MANAGEMENT DUDE!" I smile.

"GET OUT!" Lili and Will both yell at the same time.

"Well that was rude, but fine I'll leave. Bye Lili! Bye Will!" I smile at Willow who smirks back at me knowing what I just did. I walk out of the Police Station with no punishment. Yet again. Well my parents weren't going to pick me up so I guess I was walking the 9 miles home. Whatever, if anyone tries anything I'll go all Chuck Norris/ Ninja on their a**! I wrap my hoodie closer around me, cursing the broken zipper. Where was my coat? Oh right, I left it at Timmy's. Damn it! It's all that fat cops fault! Why didn't he just let me buy him another donut!

"Follow the grey cement road! Follow the grey cement road!" I sing as I skip down the side walk. I continue skipping and singing, and somwhere, somehow 'grey' became 'gay', but I didn't bother to fix it. Nope it was funner saying gay instead of grey.

I was now in one of the sketchy parts of town, but I simple continued to skip and sing. No one was going to try approach me, I looked like a psycho!

"Um, isn't it the yellow brick road?" A British voice asks from behind. I don't turn around I just keep singing and skipping hoping they would go away.

"You do know your on the sidewalk, not the road right?" Another British voice comes from behind.

"Why is the sidewalk gay?" Another British voice asks.

"AHHHHHHHH! BRITISH INVASION!!" I yell now running. Multiple british accents creep me the fuck out. 

"OI! I"M IRISH!" A voice yells.