"So, what are you boys doing in a hospital today?" The girl behind the counter attempts to flirt with Liam and Niall.
"Excuse me, sorry to interrupt you flirting with my boyfriend and brother but girl with a broken leg here!" I say from Niall's arms.
"Oh please! I'm sure it's not broken! Stop being such a drama queen," the girl says and I frown as I glance down at my purple, island sized leg.
"Yeah it's not broken. Now we know why you're behind the counter." I mutter and the girl glares at me. Niall attempts to hide his laughter but fails miserably.
"Jess! Niall! Stop being so rude!" Liam scolds as he tries to hold back his laughter The girl behind the counter continues to scowl.
"God you look like a dried up sea urchin!" I exclaim pointing at her face.
"I can get you kicked out of this hospital."
"Again, I am injured, I need a doctor, that is why we came here so no, no you can't kick us out." I snap. "Who even hired her?" I mumble to myself making Niall laugh more. "If you drop me Horan, I will cut your balls off with a plastic knife. Or worse! I'll leave you with Miss Plastic-Barbie-Who-Looks-More-Like-A-Cow-Than-A-Barbie." Niall stops laughing immediately, gripping onto me like a lifesaver.
"Lookie here you Twat!" The girl spit out at me. Twat? Was that an insult? I think it was supposed to be. Niall and Liam both tensed, so it had to be bad.
"I'm Canadian. I don't know if that was an insult or not. I'm thinking yes, but you lost me at Lookie. I mean who says lookie?"
"Alright, what would you like me to say? Bitch?" She asks in a fake American accent.
"Canadian, not American though I can never really tell the difference with some people. Like in Florida, I mean to me I notice no difference."
"Fine, you a Bitch eh," She says emphasising the Eh.
"You know I don't think I've ever said Eh in my life," I say. "Anyways, if you're done failing, will you please tell us where to go, cause you know...broken leg here," I say.
"You can wait outside. Or at another hospital." The girl snaps as a doctor walks up.
"Someone could've used a snickers," I mutter to Niall as the doctor looks over to Donkey face.
"I am so sorry about her, I'll take you for the xray's immediately." The doctor says smiling slightly.
"Thank you!" Liam sighs in relieve. Niall and Liam begin to follow the doctor down a hallway as I look around. We pass a night stand with a magazine on it and I see One Direction on it. I reach down from Niall's arms and grab it flipping to the page the article is supposed to be on.
"Hey Doc, could you maybe...get someone to you know...check him for...diseases? Like um...Chlamydia?" I ask and Liam quickly turns to me.
"What? I don't have Chlamydia."
"Say that to the magazine," I say passing it to him with the page already opened.
"Oh, no you see a koala tooka wee on me once and well Koala's are most likely to spread Chlamydia and so everyone was joking around about it and next thing I knew it was in the magazine." Liam explains while I frown.
"Wee?"
"Yeah, pee?"
"Pee?"
"Yeah."
"Can you repeat the question?" I ask.
"Why does it say you have Chamydia in the magazine?"
"What where does it say that?"
YOU ARE READING
The Badass Was Kidnapped
FanfictionReally old book. I was very young when i wrote this, but I can't bring myself to delete it. Read at your own risk. (Yes it is an overly stereotypical 1D fanfic.) If you want a better Niall Horan fic check out Selfishly Selfless :)
