AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHetc.

Rehearsal

So this week we start blocking for the show and its been great. It's so funny watching S.K. And Kaye and W do their thing on stage.

Today was a little different though because A got zero sleep last night. So he kept nodding off and i told him i could take notes for him if he wanted but he said he could stay awake (spoiler alert: he didnt)

Basically terushima and i looked over and he was pAssed out. Like SK has to yell "50 DOLLARS ?!?! TWICE AS MANY????" And we repeated that scene like 4 times and A didnt wake up so i took him script and filled out his notes for him. Ugh i really hope he gets some sleep today.

~~

Anyway yeah. Theatre's a blast,, it's genuinely the only thing i really look forward to now, the rest of the day is basically a blur. Like I'm getting good grades and I'm paying attention, but damn it's rough.

There's just so much happening and my brain hurts and i'm suddenly super self conscious about the way i talk to anyone (my word choice, my attitude, etc) just everything. I'm too stressed, too scared something will go wrong,, too scared that everyone secretly hates me and just pretending to like me and they're being nice cuz they have to. Agh. I don't know anymore i dont.

But it's truly like that sometimes. I'm just gonna have to deal with it. I can do it.

Life will be okay. It has to be.