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Friends dating ex's

Heyhey, ok so first of all, i've been debating whether i should put this up because i know the person i'm talking about reads this (hey), but this book is for me so oh well.

So i dated melon in like November and December. But we're still like really really really good friends. So ____ texted me last night saying that melon and her were a thing and she was wondering if i was ok with it. I said yeah. I mean i am. But a piece of me can't help but be sad i guess? Maybe not sad.. melancholy? Idk. It's just a strange feeling seeing someone else with your ex and thinking wow that used to be me staying up till 5 am on the phone. Maybe that's just me. My feeling are all sorts of wack and im only 14.
     Dont get me wrong, im super duper happy for them. Idk it's just that ____ gets pretty jealous (i know cuz she's ranted to me about this with her other relationship) and the way melon and i act is pretty confusing. Someone even thought we were dating cuz we always sit next to each other and i use him as my leg rest and stuff. Idk i feel like i wouldnt be able to that anymore. It seems rude since they're dating. I feel like i have to be slightly more distant with him now idk. Also for some reason i find that i had to force myself to not have a cold tone when i was talking to ____ last night. Idk what's wrong with me. I mean i'm fine just last night i was a bit shooketh.
     And if you're ____ hey, love ya lots!!! Sorry i'm weird. I know you're probably gonna text me after this or at least you'll be thinking "why didnt she just text me this" well iDK IM WEIRDD :')))))) loveee you sorryyyysjshsbsjandkandajdshdjwhdjs

-Yacy☁️