Broken Knowledge

Chapter 27

     A/N-I hope you guys are enjoying the novel so far. And I need a favor from you guys the readers, could you guys please comment more. I want some feedback to go off of when it comes to the story, and you guys aren't commenting much. So could y'all comment y'all's thoughts and opinions more? And say whatever you have to say, I take nothing as an insult, so nothing you say will hurt my feelings. Say whatever you gotta say. Please and thank you, now enjoy Chapter 27

     Mara woke up, Alan's comforting arms weren't around her anymore. She heard the TV running, and heard someone playing Fortnite, so she assumed Alan woke up and was playing some video games.
     Mara sat up and stretched. She felt like she could sleep for a week, but she knew she had to get up. She forced herself out of bed and walked into the bathroom. She splashed some cold water on her face, and that woke her right up.
     She brushed her teeth and walked into the living room with a yawn.
      But Alan wasn't there. Melody was on his X-Box Unlimited(that's what they renamed it after renewing it) playing Fortnite. And she was pretty good at it too.
     "Where's Alan?" Mara asked the girl.
     "He said he had to run some errands." Melody responded without looking away from the game.
     Mara narrowed her eyes.
     "Stay here, I'll be right back. 5 minutes tops." Mara said before stepping out of the room and into the warm Summer morning.
     She walked to the area behind the apartment complex and saw Alan. He was leaning against a dumpster and had his hands on his face. Mara could hear him crying.
     She knew he would be here(if you've read my previous chapters than you should know why) and could feel the sadness and anguish coming out of him in waves.
     "Alan?" She said."Are you alright?"
     Alan looked up at her."I can't stop thinking about yesterday," he said, his voice wavering."And when his mother and girlfriend called to say they forgi-" Alan's voice broke, and he put his head back down in his hands.
     Mara walked up to Alan and took his hands. She knew why he was so upset.
     "Talk to me, Alan," she said."I want to help you but I need you to talk to me."
     Alan looked at her. Mara was so close to him that she could see his eyes despite his hair still being down.
     "I don't think you'll understand," he said."I've killed countless Dictator soldiers, but I never, not once, killed an innocent man or woman. And I shouldn't've pulled that trigger! I should've gotten help! I should've done something to save him! But I got too scared because of my past and I just... Let myself pull the trigger! I killed another human being! A human being that was stuck in this cruel world and was trapped in the Dictator's sick game. A human being that was young and innocent. He never got to decide what he might've wanted to do with his life, he never got onto become an adult, he never got to fall in love with the one! I took that all away from him by pulling that trigger!
     "And I know you'll say,'I understand' but I don't think you will! From my knowledge, Inklings don't have to fight their own kind to kill! You guys aren't fighting an all out life-or-death war against your own kind! You never experienced true war and what it does.
     "And i've killed possibly hundreds of human beings! They might've been Dictator soldiers but they were still people! And with every one I killed, a twinge of pain and guilt surges through me. But u lock it away, justifying it by forcing myself to think,'hey n this is just another soldier working for that sucks fuck!' but each time I will one, that's someone's mother, father, brother, sister, daughter, son, aunt, uncle, etc that I kill! I take them away from thei-"
     "ALAN STOP THIS!" Mara shouted. Tears we running down her face because she could feel the guilt and anguish withen him."Stop torturing yourself like this! All you're doing right now is hurting yourself more and more!
     "You're right, I don't know what true war is, and I don't know what it's like to kill one of my own kind, but I do know that all you're doing is hurting yourself! You need to let go of these emotions! Stop keeping them inside of you, just let go! Holding on to all of these emotions is just gonna cause them to build up and build up until you can't contain then anymore and you could do something bad! You could hurt yourself or someone else!"
     Mara put her hands on the sides of Alan's face, forcing him to look her in the eyes.
     "I care about you. And I don't want you to be in pain. And that's emotions and this guilt is just hurting you. Just let them go! And if you can't do it for yourself, do it for Lily! Do it for Ally! Do it for your mom and dad!"
     Mara hugged him."Do it for me!"
     Mara felt the emotions fade, slowly.
     Mara stepped away from Alan. He took a deep breath and said,"Thank you. I needed that."
     He stepped up to Mara and kissed her.
     "Well, well, well, what do we have here." A sinister voice said from behind them.
     Mara and Alan jumped away from each other and looked towards the direction of the voice.
     Alan's eyes widened in surprise before he said,"Rat 4, you sneaky bastards."

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