this book is sort of a project for me. it's the first story I've ever written, with dynamics I've never tried. it's been really hard, but I hope you'll join my on my writing journey :)
cover art by cassbutts on deviantart!
(Warning the first chapter...
Here's another part. I'm hecka into Harry Potter right now, so yeah.
Also, I'm well aware that Harry didn't come back for the repeated 7th year. It's just for story purposes
TW suicide attempt ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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I feel the cool wind nipping at my cheeks, as I edge closer to the rails on the Astronomy Tower. As I was staring off into the night, I began to hum the tune of a lullaby my mother used to sing to me. There were no words, the notes always calmed me.
While humming the soothing tune, I fell deep into memories.
"C'mere Harry, wouldn't want you accommodating with the wrong sort," I said confidently, holding out my hand, expecting him to take it. "I think I know the wrong sort for myself, thanks." Harry sneers. I'm taken aback. That absolute git chose the dirty weasel over me? I watched them smile at each other and follow their prefect. I was furious. My father would definitely hear about this one.
~
It's my third year. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't surpass that 'mudblood', as my father and I call her. I don't like calling them that. It doesn't feel right anymore, but I don't want my father angrier than he already is. He's been getting my reports. He's not pleased with them. Not one bit, he's been.. hurting me. It's nothing too bad. He's slapped me before. But lately, he's started threatening to use magic on me.
~
I writhe in the floor, screaming bloody murder while the dark lord uses the cruciatus curse on me. Again. I failed to kill Dumbledore. My father watches me, face hardened. All the while my mother holds back tears beside him. Voldemort lifts the curse, and forces me off the ground, turning my head to look at his revolting, evil face. "You better be thankful that Severus completed the task. Otherwise, you know the suffering you and especially your mother will go through," he hissed. While I struggled to stand up straight, I attempt to sound strong as I give a small 'yes sir' and watch him slowly walk out of the room. My father follows behind, but my mother stayed and held me. I cried into her shoulder, silently begging for all the pain to disappear.
~
I stand by the great hall. Watching innocent people mourn their family and friends deaths. I'm frozen by the door. It's my fault. It's my fault they're mourning. I could've stopped this. I could've helped. I hurt people. Physiologically and physically. I break down right then and there. All alone, staring at all the dead students. It's my fault.
It's my fault.
It's my fault.
I only halfway snapped back to the real world. The thought was still pounding in my head, I couldn't take it. I started slowly stepping towards the edge.
