Craig of the Dead

29. Scott Malkinson Is Gonna Die

The moment I stepped outside, I regretted not pushing Kevin harder to come with me.

Although I had been outside in the backyard, the stark differences between my protected fortress and the outside world were slapping me in the face. Everywhere I looked the colors seemed drained and depleted, as if the apocalypse was sucking the life out of everything. The most vibrant color was a red haze that had settled over everything, but even that just made everything look aggressive, like it wanted to attack me. Even the air itself stung my nose as I inhaled, the toxic fumes causing my lungs to throw me into a coughing fit. Why did everything seem so horrible all of a sudden?

Maybe the backyard was just as bad and I had just never noticed. Maybe my senses were playing tricks on me, making everything appear worse than it actually was...

Or maybe this is just what the world has come to, and I'll just have to live with it. I really don't know, and the fact that I don't know scares me the most.

I began to head for the nearest drug store, hoping that they would have tampons. Shelly said anywhere, so it really shouldn't matter where I went. I just needed to get there and get there fast. My nerves were already on edge from all those scary movies and TV shows. According to them, there was no way I was going to go to the store and back without encountering a zombie and/or dying. Traveling alone equals death, that's apocalypse 101.

Clutching Kevin's hammer, I trudged ahead, my tennis shoes crunching in the snow. I felt like each noise I made was a beacon to zombies everywhere, pointing out exactly where they could find flesh, quick and easy. Fears that I had often just ignored began creeping into the front of my mind, the biggest being that I was alone. I didn't have anything to fall back on....

And not just with apocalypse stuff either, but with normal stuff too. Even though I had the numbers committed to memory, my phone was useless with the connection down. What would happen if I didn't notice my blood sugar spiking or dropping in time? I could always use my emergency contacts or get help from someone. But if something went wrong now...well, it would be the end of the road for me. The again, I couldn't be selfish. Everyone would die if we didn't get more food and starved, and Shelly might die if I didn't get her those tampons. I'm pretty sure that's how it works, right? Yeah, because then the blood would just spill out without anything stopping it and she would suffer from blood loss. And from what I've heard, it's not a pleasant way to go out.

Suddenly, I heard a noise. Normally this would scare the pants off me and sprint back to base, but this noise was comforting. A car engine. Zombies, they couldn't drive cars. They barely had the brain capacity to moan single words, so there must be another human behind the wheel. Could it possibly be Craig returning from his expedition? He wasn't old enough to drive, but then again, he didn't really seem like the type of person to give a fuck about the law. Or rules in general. I envied that kind of mindset. Brushing off rules and worries seemed to just come naturally to people like Craig, and Kenny too if I'm gonna be honest. I wish I could be like that, just going with the flow, not a care in the world.

I could hear the car getting substantially closer, so I turned my attention back to it. In fact, now that I could see them better, there were actually two cars, one following the other. The one in the lead was sleek and black, almost looking completely brand-new. It looked like something that you might find in a James Bond movie. The car following it was a bit more bulky, like someone put wheels on a metal box. And neither car was from South Park, I could tell that for sure.

Both of the vehicles slowed as they approached me, squealing as they braked. There was a beat where no one did anything, the silence hanging in the air as I waited for them to get out of the car, my eyes fixed on the steel frame. Finally, a tall man in a navy suit stepped out, straightening his tie and smoothing his hair as he did. He took off his sunglasses and peered down at me.

"Behind you."

"Wha--" I couldn't even finish my sentence before a pair of rotting jaws clamped down, just barely missing my neck as I ducked. "AHHHHH! AHHHHH!" I screamed, wilding swinging my hammer in every direction. Dammit, I must have been so distracted by the cars that I let my guard down. How could I have been so stupid! Now, I was paying for my mistake. I'm not cut out for this. I didn't even want to leave the house. I didn't want any of this. I just--

Suddenly, my hammer's blows were stopped by a cold, rough hand grasping my arm. Were zombies that strong? No, this was definitely a human hand.

"Put the hammer down." He ordered, the tool falling onto the cement as soon as the words left his mouth. I dunno who this guy is, but he means business, and I sure wasn't gonna be the one to cross him. Plus, judging by the crumpled body lying next to me spewing blood and ooze, he had also just saved my life.

"Sir, if you don't mind me asking, but who are you?" I timidly muttered, but he ignored me, releasing my hand and going over to talk with his friends. I had made up my mind that this just had to be the FBI. I mean, nothing else would really make sense. However, I wouldn't allow myself to get too excited. I had watched enough zombie movies and TV shows to know that the FBI showing up could be a good thing, a bad thing, or it could change nothing at all. On the other hand... at least there were other people around me now.

"Little boy, do you happen to know any zombies?" One of the nicer looking people asked. It was a woman with a white coat and thick rimmed glasses on, and she squatted down to match my level.

"Um, yeah? I don't understand the question."

"Okay, well do you have any friends--"

"No."

"Let me finish, young man. Do you have any friends who have turned into zombies?"

"How did you know about Cly-- Wait, why do you want to know?" I asked cautiously. She simply laughed at my suspicion, ruffling my hair. I flinched at her touch, not liking this sickly-sweet attitude of hers.

"Well, we want to help him of course! Our job to help cure all the zombies in your little town and make them all better. This friend of yours, did you find him as a zombie?"

"No, I didn't. A group of kids went on an expedition to try and find Craig's boyfriend," I could almost hear Craig yelling No, we're just going to find the school. Tweek just might happen to be there, but he's not the reason we're going! "But Clyde got bit on the shoulder. We locked him up and... why are you smiling?" The more I spoke the wider her grin got, her eyes gleaming with excitement.

"Oh, no. You see--"

"It wasn't very fun watching him descend slowly into madness." I growled. She stared at me for a moment, and I swear I saw my life flash in front of my eyes. What am I doing? That was something Craig or Kyle would say, not me. What ever happened to the I'm-sure-not-gonna-cross-them attitude? Still, she could at least try to hide her excitement. It was pretty disrespectful and unprofessional to openly express your happiness from others' suffering.

"Yes, I'm sure it must have been awful. It's just...well, do you think we could visit this friend of yours?"

"I...I suppose so...." As much as I didn't trust her, or any of her friends that were milling about, I didn't really see any choice. Maybe they could actually help Clyde...

"This is perfect." She stood up to converse with some other professional looking people who had also filed out of the two cars. They all got the same unsettling gleam in their eyes. Finally, after their little huddle, the same woman stood up, grinned at me, and said, "Lead the way!"

Reluctantly, I spun around, heading back to the base. A couple of people stayed out by me, following by foot. The rest of them climbed back into their special cars and drove slowly the rest of the way. It just occurred to me as I neared the house that I hadn't restocked on food or tampons. How ironic, I didn't even complete that task, which had been the entire reason I had left the safety of the house to begin with.

Shelly was gonna be pissed.