Craig of the Dead

32. Huh, Look Who's Back

"What....happened?"

"I dunno, I had just taken Tweek out for a walk. You know, he's been really stressed with his scratch and all, so I thought this might help take his mind off it." Craig said, mouthing the word 'scratch' so that Tweek wouldn't hear. The scratch itself wasn't awful, but there was no doubt anymore about what gave him the cut. The green and grey discoloration plus it's refusal to heal? I guess Tweek had made the connection too.

"OH GOD, IS HE DEAD?" Tweek yelled, practically hanging off of Craig's arm. We were all standing around a pale body sprawled out on the pavement in the parking lot. Craig had called Token, Stan, Kyle, and myself after stumbling upon the kid. It was the guy who had left earlier. Damien. The kid who's voice missed out on puberty or something.

"Calm down. Let's check first, find out, then panic." Kyle said, kneeling down and pressing his fingers to the kid's wrist. After a bit, he looked back up at us. "I dunno what I'm supposed to be feeling for. I've only seen this in TV shows."

"Kyle, you should be looking for a pulse. I thought you were the smart one. Better yet, we could just try to see if he will wake up."

"Okay," Kyle grabbed Damien by the shoulders and shook him violently, but nothing happened. His head knocked back and forth, but he still didn't move. "Well crap, what do we do now?"

"Put your finger underneath his nose." Craig ordered, rolling his eyes.

"No, that's weird."

"He means like this." I said, kneeling down to check for myself. A steady stream of air was flowing out of his nose. "See, air's coming out. He's breathing, so he's not dead."

"Man, that's pretty smart, Kenny."

"I'm not stupid you know."

"Okay, well, last I checked we don't have smelling salts, so our best course of action would be to just take him inside. Wait for him to wake up. Come on, Token, take the head, I'll take the rear." Craig threw his bat on the cement and heaved the boy's bottom half up off the ground.

"Okay, so then why exactly did you bring the rest of us out here?" Stan asked. "If we aren't helping you bring him inside, I mean, we're basically just standing here."

"I just thought I should let some people know. It's kind of a big deal, having Damien, who was heading back to hell, appear unconscious in the front of our school. It can't be a good sign."

"Yeah, I mean, it's not like we're in a zombie apocalypse right now or anything, so nearly everything is a bad sign." I mumbled, getting a small laugh out of Token and a glare from Craig.

"Shouldn't you tell Wendy? She's a pretty big person of importan--"

"I'm not getting your girlfriend right now, okay?" Craig shot, making his way back inside as best he could with half a body in his hands. "I don't need her breathing down my back, and I--Tweek, I'm kinda doing something right now, could you get off of me? Here, Ken, can you get the keys from my pocket? Lock the door behind us. And grab by bag while you're at it."

"Gotcha." I dug around in Craig's jacket pocket until I found the huge ring of keys. Just as everyone was filing in, Kyle paused for a moment.

"Wait a second. Everyone stop moving."

"Why?"

"No, stop talking, be quiet! I think I hear something." Now that everyone had hushed, I could kind of make out what noise Kyle was hearing, but I couldn't quite place what it was.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Damn Kenny, I didn't know you were that poor. It's obviously a car." Stan laughed before getting shushed by Kyle.