Craig of the Dead

44. The Letter

Hey guys. This last letter is gonna suck because (a) I'm really bad at goodbyes and (b) I don't actually know you guys. Not anymore. But let's ignore that for now. What I've gotta say is this: Life can be short, life can be long, so just don't take anything for granted because you never know when it's gonna end. You, whoever's reading this, can you feel the paper crinkle under your hands? Be thankful for that. Do you have a mother who's alive (because apparently I don't)? Well, go tell her that you love her. This all probably sounds so cheesy, but I haven't backed down from cheeseball phrases yet, have I?

But I don't wanna make this about me. Let's make it about you. I don't remember much, but I'll try my best. (Oh also, quick thanks to Bebe for writing this. And for filling me in on details that went fuzzy)

Token, let some people look after you. If you're constantly taking care of people, who's gonna take care of you?

Craig, lighten up, buddy. Life needs to be enjoyed and, for some reason, you find enjoyment in very few things. As a wise song once said, "Don't worry, be happy". Also, don't feel guilty about me. It wasn't your fault, dude, and I really don't blame you. I don't remember exactly what happened, but I was probably just being a spaz.

Tweek, chill out. You gotta stop being so stressed or life's just gonna pass you up and you'll realize you never even stopped having panic attacks to really live it.

Scott, ignore what other people say about you. I dunno if this matters to you, but you're a pretty cool dude. At least, in my books.

Butters, don't ever feel like you need to change. Sure, you might be a little naive sometimes, but we all like you for that. And maybe tell Craig how to be happier, cuz I think you're a happy dude and he could take a few lessons.

Kenny, I dunno dude. Stop being horny, I guess? Although I don't think I can talk.... Oh! You're pretty comfy in your own skin, something I really admire. So, keep up the good work, I guess.

Shelly, you don't have to act so tough all the time. It's okay to feel emotions, they don't make you look weak! Trust me!

Bebe, you aren't a perfect person. But neither am I. No one is. We all make mistakes, sometimes the same ones over and over again, but if we make the decision to change, we can completely reform our lives. So I don't believe you when you say you were an awful person. I say that's hogwash! (He he, hogwash is a funny w—hey! Don't write this part!)

Stan, I hear you drink? That's probably a bad idea... cut it out.

Kyle, keep believing in what is right. It sounds like you'd make a great leader someday. I mean, I know Craig's the leader, but I'm just saying someday.

Cartman, dude, from what I can tell you're already going to Hell, so I have nothing left to say. You just seem like an awful guy. Go commit lifen't.

Carla, we've never been close. I can't lie when I say I can barely think of you as my sister anymore. I have almost no memories to try to salvage. But I can guarantee this.

I'll tell mom hello for us.

Don't be dicks, I love you all.

See you later. Goodbye for now.

—Clyde