Meant To Be (An Antoine Griezmann Fanfiction) [BoyxBoy]

Ephermal Ataraxia

Chapter Nine

Antoine's eyes opened like plates. He was cornered once again and now by a different person. Erika couldn't quit her eyes off Antoine, she wouldn't be mad if Antoine turned out to be gay, she would understand why their relationship ended. Antoine was a very loving and caring boyfriend, but she always felt that his love towards her came from a close friend or a brother, but not from a lover.

"So..?" Erika asked, Antoine avoided eye contact. "It's fine if you don't want to answer, though."

"It's just, I don't know" Antoine replied. "I've only been attracted to girls, but since.."

"Since what?" Erika asked intrigued as Antoine trailed off.

"I met a dude and I'm kind of attracted to him" Antoine said, Erika screamed and giggled.

"How's he like? What's his name? Is he a teammate? Is it Ñíguez? I always knew it, no girlfriend, crazy nights in Ibiza..." Erika talked so fast that Antoine could just frown.

"What no! Well, it doesn't matter" Antoine avoided all questions. "The thing is just that I don't know and I'm scared to know."

Erika stood up and lift up her shirt, the sexy bra she was wearing outlined her breasts beautifully, she had a stunning body and anyone would give anything to see her like that. Antoine reminded the day when he imagined her like that, it was clear that reality outruns imagination.

"That's a sexy bra" Antoine commented, Erika laughed.

"Nothing?" Erika asked.

"Nothing what?" Antoine replied.

"That's my point" Erika said. "Baby, you're not physically attracted to girls, you want to convince yourself of that, but you've always liked physical contact with guys rather than girls."

"But.." Antoine trailed off. "I've always liked girls."

"Nobody says otherwise" Erika patted him on the back. "But there's a huge difference between liking and loving, just think about it."

Antoine knew Erika was right, he had never felt the way he felt for Caleb, for anybody, regardless it was a girl or a boy. He still had so many questions to be answered, but he guessed it was a matter of time for everything to clarify in his head. He, however, felt depressed thinking about the lie he had been living. A saddening feeling took over him as he realized that his life was going to change to something completely different.

"I guess you're right" Antoine sighed. "But what am I going to do?"

"You don't have to do anything if you're not prepared for it" Erika said. "Everything has its time, first accept yourself and then everything will smooth out."

"Aren't you mad that you spend some years of your life with someone like me?" Antoine looked at Erika, she didn't show any sign of anger or remorse.

"What do you mean?" Erika asked.

"You were my girlfriend" Antoine sighed. "Aren't you mad that now I want to be with a guy?"

"Why should I be?" Erika smiled. "As I said, you were a loving and caring boyfriend. If I'm helping you out right now is because I really loved you and I will always do."

Erika hugged Antoine and he never felt more accepted. It felt good to express all his distress and insecurities out, he knew it was a long way to go, but —at least— he wasn't alone. Even though Erika's approval meant everything to Antoine, he still felt concerned about the outcome of him being into guys. It seemed like it wasn't a big deal, but for Antoine, accepting himself was a big challenge. He didn't want to be gay; he wanted to be attracted to girls, have children and grow old next to somebody he was married to.