Mi Salvador

I Could've Handled It

Ascella's POV
Opal helped me into the house. I saw Liv, Amanda, and Dad in the dining room. I looked down at my hands and clothes, which were still covered in blood.
"Oh my god..." Dad rushed to me and looked me over, "Where-"
"Paulo's..." I looked at him, "Paulo's blood."
Opal turned on the news. There was a video of us and Paulo. There was a video of Paulo getting shot. I turned to Hank and pushed him.
"What the fuck is your problem?! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SAY THAT?!"
"Ascella-"
"Why didn't you let me handle it?! I could've handled it!"
"And let you get shot?"
"I wouldn't have gotten shot! I'm not stupid and I don't need you to protect me!"
"But you need Paulo?! He had a weapon!"
"It was a keychain! I gave that to him for our first date in the 10th grade! It didn't look like a weapon until you opened your fucking mouth!"
I stepped away from his touch, "Just leave me alone, Hank."
"I helped you."
"You got him shot! You got my friend shot!"
"The friend who used to hit you? The friend who helped you get kidnapped?!"
"You have no idea who he is.."
"You don't either."
"You just met him. I knew everything about him. Do you wanna know what sucks?! His dad was a cop! His dad got killed, got shot. Paulo was doing everything right because it was what his dad would do."
"Look where it got him!"
"And you did what your dad would do. He helped get me kidnapped too. Does that ever cross your mind?"
"Every single day. And you're lucky that I'm not like him. I do so much for you and you choose Paulo over me?"
"And you expect me to thank you? Trust me, I love Paulo more than I will ever love you-"
His hand came down on my cheek, causing me to fall at Opal's feet. My dad grabbed him by the shirt, "Get out of here."
Hank left. I wiped the blood from my lip, "At least he didn't hit me, my ass." Opal helped me up and I looked at my clothes again, causing tears in my eyes, "What did we do wrong?"
Opal cupped my face, "Nothing. Hank caused this. I know it."
"What if Paulo dies?"
"Sh...let's go get you cleaned up." Opal led me upstairs.

The next day, I went to go visit him in the hospital. He had undergone surgery and was still pretty numbed up. A smile crept onto my face as I saw his sisters putting clips in his hair. One of them gasped and ran to me, "Ella!"
"Hello, Gina!" I picked her up and hugged her.
"Is Zara with you?"
"No, sorry, bebz. She's seeing her abuelita right now." I set her back down on the bed and looked to Paulo.
"Hey, hermano." I whispered. He smiled and placed his hand on my leg, "How you doing, bebita?"
I sighed and looked down at his hand, "I don't know..."
"It's not your fault. Besides, the rookie cop is paying for my hospital bill."
"He came to visit you?"
"Yeah."

I nodded and held his hand in mine, "You know...when I was younger...I would watch young boys get shot on the news and my dad would talk about boys in the Bronx when he was at Narcotics. I just never realised..."
"That it would really happen in front of you? Yeah..."
"Does your mom hate me?" I whispered. He chuckled, "nah, she actually bought you a gift. You saved my life."
I shook my head, "She shouldn't have."
"She did. You know how much my family loves you, Ella. They obviously miss you."
I looked to his sisters, who had started to colour, "Yeah, I miss them too."
"I messed up real bad, huh?" He moved hair out of my face.
"No, you didn't." I responded, "It's over. I don't hate you..."
"It shouldn't have happened in the first place." He murmured. I looked away before my phone buzzed.

Rafael: I heard what happened.
Are you okay? Please call me
when you can.

I sighed and looked at Paulo.
"That guys must really love you..."
"Hank? Yeah, right."
"No. I'm sure Nash Kingsley has told about keeping an eye on you." He smirked. I laughed softly, "So you're one of my admirers."
"Always have been. Don't worry, you know I don't snitch."
I nodded and kissed his hand, "I gotta head..."
"See you later, baby."
I kissed his sisters' heads and walked out. Once I got in my car, I broke down and hit anything I could. Then I pulled out my phone and dialled Rafael. It rang twice before he picked up.
"Ella? Baby, you okay? Is Paulo, okay?"
I covered my face and started to cry, "It's all my fault. I caused all of this."
"Ascella, dont say that. I saw the video, you were doing great. You were handling everything the right way."
"I wasn't scared of getting shot, Rafael. I wasn't afraid to die."
"Ella..."
I couldn't speak anymore. Sobs racked my body before Rafael broke the silence.
"I'm coming home, okay? I'm gonna be home tomorrow..."
"Okay."
"I love you. I love you so much."
"I love you too."
I hung up and sat back. There was a knock on my window and I looked. Liv stood there with my Dad. I rolled down my window.
"Hey."
"Is he okay?"
"Yeah..." I whispered. Dad pushed hair out of my face, "We're gonna go explain to him that he's innocent."
"I'm sure he already knows." I scoffed. Dad kissed my head and sighed, "Can you pick up your sister?"
"Yeah, I got it." I started my car and drove off. I arrived to abuelita's house and knocked. Abuela opened it and smiled, "Hi, niña!"
"Hi, Mama." I kissed her cheek and stepped in, "Cmon, Zara."
"You can't stay?"
"No, lo siento. I have to go make dinner and get her ready to go back to DC. Will I see you on Christmas?"
"You better. Or else I will kill your dad myself." She scoffed. I nodded and kissed her cheek again, "See you then." Zara said her goodbyes and we went to my car. I drove quietly and got Zara inside.
"Can I go make my letter to Santa?" Zara asked, smiling. I nodded and let her get some paper and crayons. I cooked quietly and thought about nothing but the shooting. I didn't even notice the door open and close, which indicated my dad was home. He smiled and kissed Zara's head before going into the kitchen.
"Hey." He kissed my head, "You okay?"
"Hm."
"He's gonna be okay..."
"What if he isn't? Maybe he's not gonna die, yeah, but what if he loses his leg or gets paralysed? Paulo is the only thing that is keeping his family alive because his mom barely knows English and his sisters are too young to work." I plated Zara's food and sighed, putting the pan down, "I wish I could do something more to help."
My dad hugged me, "Sometimes, there isn't enough to suffice..."
I nodded and set the table, "Come eat." I called to Zara. Dad served himself and I stood in the kitchen, looking at my phone. A text notification popped up and I opened it.

Rafael: On the plane back
home to Manhattan.
I can't wait to see you.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
YALL SEASON 15-17 OF SVU WAS TAKEN OFF OF NETFLIX AND ITS GONNA FUCK UP MY TIMELINE AHSHGDJSBDMDNDN