Cassidy [A SVU Fan Fic]

Fourteen

Olivia stayed up all night trying to figure out a way she could get back to work and still spend time with her kids. She wanted to be superwoman. She wanted to work, go to everything having to do with her kids, and maybe even having another kid. But she just couldn't figure it out. There was not enough time in the day for her to do everything she wanted, so she decided to just give up on going back to work and just focus on being a better mother to her child than her mother was ever to her.

She finally went upstairs and laid in her bed for the hour before Joey would wake up because he needed his diaper changed. She was going to do her best to try and be happy, even it means she's pretending.

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One Year Later

A year passed, and Olivia was still faking her happiness. Elliot thought she had just gotten used to the idea of being a stay at home mom. Brian was involved in Cassidy's life more, and even if Cassidy didn't know Brian wasn't his 'uncle' but actually his father.

"Alright, Hunter and Danny, please grab your school bags. I'm dropping you both and Cass off at school! We gotta go!" Olivia exclaimed.

She was standing in the kitchen, and Joey was sitting in his chair giggling as he ate his cereal.

"Momma, I thought Daddy was supposed to take us." Danny huffed, as he looked at his mother. Olivia frowned a bit, before walking over and helping him tighten the straps on his backpack because it was way too big for her three-year-old.

"He is at work, but he'll pick you all up from school," Olivia replied. She walked over and picked Joey up from his highchair and placed him on his hip before heading towards the garage door. Her sons filed out, and she helped them all get into the car before getting in the front seat herself. She didn't want to take the oldest three to school, but they had to go to school and she'd just have to figure out something fun to do with Joey so she didn't feel as lonely.

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Olivia took Joey to the park and watched as he played in the sandbox with a few other little boys and girls who he befriended. Olivia checked her watch to see if it was close enough to noon to get lunch and take Joey home so he can nap when someone sat beside her.

"Well, you look lonely." Brian laughed, as he looked over at Olivia.

"Yeah, I am." She replied. She looked over at Brian to see a concerned expression.

"I didn't expect you to actually say you were lonely. What's wrong?" He frowned.

"I just don't really talk to adults minus my husband. So I'm missing adult conversations." Olivia frowned.

"I can come over more often if that would help. I like spending time with you." Brian breathed.

"Bri, I just feel like he doesn't appreciate what I do anymore. For our kids. For him. And he wants another baby, again. It's like after I gave into him last time and miscarried the baby didn't matter. I just feel like I'm being used." Olivia frowned. She ran her fingers through her hair and looked at her hand and sighed.

"And I'm so stressed that I'm losing my hair. Great." Olivia groaned. Brian reached over and rested his hand on her thigh and sighed.

"You'd look beautiful if you were bald." He teased, and she laughed.

"I haven't laughed in a while, Brian. Thanks for making me laugh."

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Brian pressed Olivia hard against the wall of the laundry room. He lifted her shirt up and kissed her deeply. She ran his hands through his hair and moaned into his lips as he worked his tongue into her mouth.

She was letting go. She was going to regret it, she knew it, but she felt all of her stress fade away. Their lips parted for a few moments, and he took her shirt off before he looked her over. He kept his eyes focused on her breasts for a moment, before looking up at her face again. He saw the tears on her cheeks, and he quickly stepped back.

"Liv?" He asked, as she quickly snatched her shirt back and quickly pulled it back on.

"Leave, Brian."

"What? Liv, we were having fun. I could feel the stress melt away." Brian spoke, as he reached out to touch her waist, but she smacked his hand away.

"This was a mistake. You've used me so often, and I'm only okay being your friend. Nothing more. So leave, Brian. Leave before Elliot gets home. Leave before I start to cry." Olivia begged. She pushed past him and out into the kitchen. She quickly grabbed his jacket and shoved it into his hands.

"Liv, I'm sorry." Brian frowned.

"Why? Because I just keep making bad choices? I'm the one making myself unhappy. I just couldn't tell Elliot that I'm unhappy and just went back to work. No, I just let it all bottle up and then I just kissed you. So leave. Please."

"Okay, but talk to him. Okay? Please just talk to him because I hate seeing you in pain like this."

"I'll try."

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Elliot ended up not getting the boys, so Olivia picked them up and did the night routine with them. She had them in bed and was getting ready for bed herself when Elliot finally came home. 

"Hey, sexy," Elliot called into their bedroom. Olivia groaned as she walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.

"Did you go out for drinks with the crew? Is that why you called me sexy?" Olivia questioned. 

"No, I called you sexy because you are. Wanna spend some 'quality time' together?" Elliot smiled. Olivia bit her lip and nodded slowly.

"Sure. Uh, but can I tell you something?" Olivia asked.

"Of course. You can tell me anything." Elliot smiled. He started to take his clothes off, as Olivia walked over and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I'm not happy." She whispered.

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