Cassidy [A SVU Fan Fic]

Thirty-Four

They tried their hardest to find a place that truly felt like home and was still in the school district so the boys didn't have to lose their friends, but they couldn't find one. No house was good enough for their growing family, and there was not enough space in the backyard nor the driveway to have a swing set and a basketball hoop.

"So, now we must look in other places." Olivia sighed softly, as they walked back to their car after going to an open house. Olivia was overwhelmed and upset, and all she wanted was to secure a house before her fifth and final child was born.

"Do you wanna wait a few weeks before looking again? Just so we can come up with a list of wants for our new place?" Brian asked, quietly.

"I don't want to wait any longer, Bri. It's been three weeks and we haven't found a place that screams at us that it is our home. Not even the house we are living in feels like a home. Our home... I don't want to wait. I just want to get a house that is our home together with our kids." Olivia spoke before she climbed into the car. Brian looked at the house they had been looking at today and frowned.

"Fuck you, house. You were supposed to be the one." Brian groaned, before climbing into the car with a sigh.

+++

"Stabler, you have a visitor." A guard huffed, as he pulled his keys from his belt loop and unlocked Elliot's cell.

"Who?" Elliot asked, as he climbed off the top bunk and quickly walked out the cell door.

"Dunno, and don't care." The guard replied quietly.

Elliot was led into a room and he looked around for a bit before seeing his mother sitting in one of the booths. He quickly sat down and grabbed the phone before pressing it to his ear.

"Mom?" Elliot breathed, as tears welled in his eyes.

"I love you, son... but what you did to Olivia... calling her like you did was wrong. So wrong." Bernie spoke, and Elliot frowned as he looked down at the table as a few tears slipped down his cheeks.

"I regret it... I regretted it from the moment it happened. I shouldn't have called her. I just keep hurting my soulmate over and over again."

"She's no longer your soulmate, Elliot. She is with that Cassidy man. She is in love with him, and I can see it when she talks about him."

"You talk to her? Why?" Elliot asked, shocked.

"Because I have four grandsons that I want to be around and that you never told me about. And I go there and let her talk about herself too because you never listened to her when you had the chance." Bernie spoke.

"Dad had pounded some pretty shit ideas into my head. I don't know how many times I could hear his voice in my head telling me to put her in her place. To beat her and hurt her so that she knew where her place in my family was. I heard him tell me that if I wanted sex, I needed to force her into having sex with me. He ruined me, Mom. He made me into a man that I didn't want to be. He made me think that it was right to think about raping my wife... and it isn't. I'm a bad man, Momma... so bad and I hate it so much." Elliot whimpered as tears streamed down his cheeks.

"Elliot, tell me why you didn't have my voice in your head? That you didn't hear me telling you that what your father said is wrong?" Bernie asked as she wanted to reach out and pull her son close. She wanted to comfort her baby so badly, but she couldn't because there was unbreakable glass between them.

"Because you didn't tell him to stop. You didn't fight back. Olivia fought back, and it just made the voices so much worse!" Elliot cried before he dropped the phone and started to sob. 

Bernie tapped the glass with her finger and Elliot looked up at her after a few long moments. He picked up his phone and put it back to his ear and listened as much as he could.

"Elliot, Olivia grew up in a household where rape was the thing that she got blamed for. She wasn't raped, but her mother was raped. She was blamed for that, so when she found out that you planned on raping her, it got worse. So much worse. Now, Elliot... don't call her. Don't go back to Manhattan. Give her what she deserves, and that is space and distance from you. Now, go back to your cell and get some sleep. I will be back because I'm going to live here with you now. Okay? I'll make sure you stay on track once you are released, and I'll make sure that you keep living while still in here."

"Thanks, Ma... thanks so much."

+++

Closer to the city, yet in a neighborhood where the noise of the city was rarely heard, Olivia and Brian found their home. It was a two-story house with five bedrooms, three bathrooms, a large backyard and a fenced in front yard. There was plenty of space for their kids, and even though the two middle boys had to share a room, it was amazing.

"7 weeks of more looking, and we are finally home." Brian breathed, as he wrapped his arms around Olivia's body and held her close.

"Next week we get to find out the gender of our baby... And all four of our boys will be starting school again..."

"Are you gonna be able to decorate this place? Or should we-" 

"We aren't hiring someone to decorate our first home together, Brian. Now, you and I will figure out a way to send all four kids to Amanda's or Fin's... then we can spend the weekend decorating and getting the boys' rooms together."

"Sounds like the best weekend ever. Minus the fact, our kids aren't going to be here with us."

"It'll be better to have them gone and not underfoot when we are moving furniture," Olivia spoke, before sighing softly. She turned around and looked at her husband instead of the house. She smiled softly before pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

Now, in the front of their new home, Olivia finally started to feel like she was really healing and not just lying to herself and the rest of her family.

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