Cassidy [A SVU Fan Fic]

Thirty

Olivia sat next to Elliot and held his hand. His face was swollen from where the guard hit him. She couldn't even see the man she once loved any more, because his face was bruised and bloodied.

"Do you want me to take over?" Amanda whispered as she walked into the small room that Elliot was laying in.

"Is it bad that I feel bad for him, Amanda? Look at him. His face is a mess. He isn't breathing on his own... and the guard did this for what seems like no reason at all."

"Liv..." Amanda trailed off, as she felt a lump develop in her throat.

"What?" Olivia breathed.

"I told the guards what he did... they hated him and if he didn't listen to them, they said they'd take it out on him harsher than they usually would." Amanda breathed. She felt like crying because this was her fault.

"So you are the reason why Elliot might die... Get out, Amanda. Get the fuck out of here." Olivia spat. 

"I'm sorry, Liv. I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me." Amanda whimpered, as tears ran down her cheeks. She had cried on the drive up here, and now she was going to cry on the drive back.

"You shouldn't have told them, Amanda! You gave them permission to kill him! Jesus Christ!" Olivia spat. Amanda quickly ran from the room as Olivia looked back down at Elliot.

"I'm so sorry, Elliot. You should've gotten help and not arrested. Then maybe you could've been an actual part of the kids' lives instead of laying in this bed and barely clinging to life."

+++

Olivia went home that morning after Elliot was transported back to Bellevue. He was going to get the best care possible there, compared to what he was going to get if he was stuck in the prison hospital.

She got home and walked into the kitchen. The boys were sitting at the table eating breakfast, while Brian was standing in the laundry room talking to someone on the phone. Olivia walked around and kissed the top of each of her sons' heads before heading up the stairs to shower and get changed. She was exhausted and pissed off. If Elliot died, his blood would be on Amanda's hands.

"How is he?" Brian asked as he walked into their bathroom as Olivia brushed out her wet hair.

"He is on life support. They don't think that he'll make it. But he's at Bellevue now and is getting brain scans and such."

"Are you going to head back up there?" Brian asked, and Olivia shrugged.

"I don't know. I'm not feeling good at all and I need to try and take care of myself for a few hours before going back up there."

"How don't you feel good?" Brian asked, getting a bit excited about her possibly being pregnant and that is what is causing her not to feel good. But he should've known that it was because she was up all night and hadn't eaten breakfast yet.

"I'm sick to my stomach and I'm exhausted. Don't get excited." Olivia sighed. She finished brushing her hair out while her husband watched her.

"I'll go make you some breakfast. Want me to call Amanda and ask if she can sit with Elliot till you can go up there? I'll take on watching the boys." Brian spoke.

"Amanda better stay the hell away from all of us." Olivia spat.

"What? What happened?" Brian asked.

"She is the reason why Elliot is about to die."

"He was beaten by a guard, Liv. Not by Amanda." Brian spoke, which made Olivia even angrier. He made it sound like she was crazy for thinking that Amanda was the reason why Elliot is in critical condition.

"She told the guards what he did and they told her that if he acted out, they'd beat him! Brian, this is her fault! I'm fucking done with her because she did something she shouldn't have." Olivia yelled. Brian stepped back a bit, holding his hands up to try and stop her from yelling at him again.

"Okay. It's okay." He breathed, and Olivia shook her head as she dropped her brush onto the counter as tears streamed down her already hot cheeks.

"Go take the boys out or something, Bri." She whispered.

"You need me, Olivia. We aren't leaving you." He breathed.

"Leave me alone!" She started to sob. The man who first made her feel like she was worth anything might be dying. It hurt her so much, even if she isn't in love with him anymore, it still hurt to think that he might be taken from the world because of some stupid thing Amanda did.

"I'll call you later, babe. Call me if you need anything at all."

"Okay. Please, just go now." Olivia whimpered, as she tried to calm herself down but the sobs were already started up again.

+++

Brian took the boys to the trampoline park, while Olivia took care of herself for a while. She kept ignoring the calls she kept receiving from Amanda.

Olivia just wanted to be alone, completely alone, while she worked through the feelings that she was experiencing. 

After eating and sleeping for a few hours, she headed up to the hospital. She showed her badge and was allowed to go in and sit with Elliot. She sank down onto the hard chair beside him and held his hand again. She ran her fingers over the discoloration on his left hand's ring finger. When she first took off her wedding band, it felt so weird, but now it didn't feel weird anymore because she had a wedding band from her union with Brian. She already knew that she was happier with Brian than she had been with Elliot.

"I'm sorry that you got hurt, El. I really am. I never should have allowed Amanda to contact you and hurt you through showing you that I'm happy. Please, please forgive me if you wake up. And, this will shock you, but I'm going to pray daily for you. Just to make sure that at least one person is."

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