AoT SnK: (Jean x OC) Something worth fighting for

Chapter Seven

                I had spent month training and now i was only days away from graduating and joining the survey Corps. I sat across from Jean and Marco in the mess hall, Jean was talking about how to save gas using inertia,occassionally he would glance at Mikasa. My blood boiled as i started getting angry. Why does he keep looking at her? Why am i so angry about it? I thought. Because you love him dumbass. Oh shut up Kat. I mentally slapped myself. I was so consumed in my thoughts i didnt come back to reality till i noticed Jean and Eren fighting again.

                Before i could get up and stop him, Mikasa was already calming Eren, making Jean more pissed off. More shouting about...Clothes? Eren suddenly flipped Jean to the ground. "Jean!" I gasped. I was standing up but Marco held me by the arm stopping me. I looked at him shake his head. I turn back to Eren and Jean. Eren went on about how Jean could call himself a soldier...He's just following human nature, stay safe, stay happy. I thought. Jean could be mean to others sure but...he really was nice once you understood.

                The cheif commander opened the mess hall door slightly. Peeking through he said "I heard a loud noise a moment ago. Anyone care to explain?" Eren and Jean ran to their seats. Mikasa raised her hand and said "Sasha farted sir" I covered my mouth with my hand trying to stiffle my laughter. The commander left and the mess hall broke out in laughter. Eren and Jean sat across from each other glaring till the mess hall cleared out. 

                I didn't feel like sleeping, my thoughts kept me up with images of Jean and Mikasa. I walked untill i sat on a hill with two oak trees in the middle. As i walked closer I saw Jean lean against the tree to my left. I sat down next to him staring at the same starry sky. 

                "Can't sleep?" he murmured. I nodded. "Yeah..." Jean's hand and mine were so close together..Go for it Kat..I thought. I slowly move my hand on top of his. If he noticed, i couldnt tell. We stayed like that for a minute before he spoke. "Kat, will you tell me what branch you are going to join?" he asked. I sighed. I know Jean would freak out, but i promised him years ago i would tell him. The images of him and mikasa still ran through my mind. "I want to join the survey corps.." i whispered. 

                Jean looked at me shocked. "Kat are you crazy? You could d-" i cut him off. "Jean" i said, almost in a demanding voice. "Jean...do you like Mikasa?..." i whispered. I had to know. I had to know if he really loved her. Jean had been my friend before my crush so if he likes  Mikasa i have to support him. Right? I stared at my hand on top of his. Jean... thoughts of us running in the trost district together, making funny faces at each other, Jean carrying me back to the tunnel when i would hurt myself. Yes...All this time..I loved Jean the most..

                Mama hadn't taught me about love before she died. No. She did. That moment Mama had ran towards the titan, using her life as bait so her kids could escape....Yes...Mama had taught me about love in that moment..Jean was one of the people i would have done the same for if i was in Mama's shoes. 

                Jean had cleared his throat obviously looking for the right words. "W-well, she has really pretty black hair. b-but.." before he could continue i lifted my hand off of his, placing it over my heart. Tears stung my eyes while i experienced a pain worse than all others. My heart felt shattered, broken, numb..Tears rolled down my cheeks as i lowered my head. "o-oh, I'm happy for you Jean..." i said. Standing up i walked away, my slow pace soon turning to a jog as i ran to my cabin. My tears felt cold as I ran against the wind.

                                        *Jean's POV*

                Before i could tell Kat i liked someone else more than Mikasa, she had lifted her small hand off of mine. I wanted to grab it,but was afraid it might be to forward. Kat lowered her head trying to conceal her face. "O-Oh, I'm happy for you Jean..." she said. Kat, please don't lie to me... Kat stood up and began to walk away. My words were caught in my throught as i silently reached out to her.

                Kat started running and i quickly got up to follow her. Kat was fast, even faster down hill, but i had to catch up to her! "Kat!" i shouted. I felt wet drops crash against my face. Was Kat crying? We kept running till i was close enough to grab her. I reached out for her wrist and stopped her. Kat kept her gaze away from me. "Kat.." i whispered. I struggled for words to say but what came out was different. "Do..you like some one?" i asked almost embarrassed. 

                At that moment Kat turned towards me, tears falling from her eyes, and with a smile, a very sad smile. "I do, but i just recently found out he has eyes for some one else.." she said. Her smile still sad, as she yanked her arm away from my grasp. "Goodnight Jean.." she murmured, walking into the girls cabin. Kat...The guy she likes...was me..

                I clenched my fist. Damn, thats why Kat was acting strangely.  I should have known..I knew i had loved Kat's pale blue eyes, her soft light brown hair, the freckles on her button nose.  I loved the times we shared, the times we laughed, argued. I was so oblivious to her, i was so...cruel. I turn to walk to the boy's cabin. Dammit Jean, what have you done this time?