AoT SnK: (Jean x OC) Something worth fighting for

Chapter Seventeen

                After Jean's confrontation with Eren, everyone went to their rooms to rest up before the expedition tomorrow. While others slept peacefully, i found myself awake. I could die tomorrow...I thought. I had so many things i wanted to do before i die, but it struck me that tomorrow i could be the next one in the casualties list. I could die tomorrow and Jean would never know that i had feelings for him. I'd never tell him how i loved his smile, his sense of humor, the way his face turned a shade of red. All the things i want to tell him, could be lost when i am devoured by a titan. 

                I sighed and walked outside by the stables. Looking up at the cloudless night sky somewhat relaxed me, causing me to doze off. I heard footsteps and saw Jean come around the corner and stand next to me. "Can't sleep?" he asked. I nodded. "Yeah i guess.." Jean stared at the stars deep in thought. Kat, this may be your only chance, tell him! I ignored my inner thoughts and kept quiet for a few seconds. I'm right though, this may be the last time i can tell Jean.."u-uhm.." i stuttered. "Jean, c-can i tell you something?" 

                Jean looked over at me, a confused look on his face.  " Are you going to tell me you're the one who helped Sasha steal the meat out of the commanders office?" he teased. "Jean..I'm serious!" i said, puffing up my cheeks in annoyance. Jean laughed then stood up straight. "Okay what is it Kat?" he asked. I sighed and looked up into his hazel eyes. I've spent almost five years looking into these beautiful eyes, but something seemed different about them now. My face heated up as Jean stared back at me, clearly waiting for me to speak. 

                My shaking hands grabbed Jean's strong hands. I looked down at them, thinking of the best way to put this. "Tomorrow I could end up being the next one to die out there.." I said. Jean spoke up "Kat I-" "shh, let me finish." i interrupted him.  " I couldn't sleep because i was thinking about how i might not get to tell someone important to me how i feel.." I took a deep breathe and raised my head, looking Jean straight in the eyes. "The thought of you dying terrifies me, I can't help but want to hug you when your sad or deep in thought. I feel most at home with you, and safest when i hold your hand.." My face turned a shade of dark red as Jean looked at me with wide eyes.

                "I always want to keep you from harm, and I get angry whenever you glance at Mikasa when you think no one is looking. I can't help but get lost in your hazel eyes, and i have to fight the urge to jump into your arms whenever im excited to see you." I held onto Jean's hands tighter. "I thought i was sick when i started realizing these feelings, but after a while i realized why i had these feelings. It's because i love you Jean Kirschtein. I love your smile, your eyes, the way you hug me, and the way your face turns red when your embarrassed like it is now." I looked back down at the ground, fighting the urge to run and hide.

                "I loved you three years ago, and i love you now..." I whispered. I shuffled my feet nervously before i looked back up at Jean. "I know you have feelings for Mikasa...so please forgive me for this..." i murmured. Jean looked back at me, his face a bright red as he struggled for words. I smiled and stood on my tip toes as i kissed Jean's cheek lightly. I memorized the way his skin felt against my lips, and backed up. "F-forgive me..." I blushed as i turned away and ran back to my room. "H-Hey! Kat!" I heard Jean call out to me, but i continued running. If i stay any longer i felt i might faint from anxiety. I just told him everything...I know now, i don't have any regrets..

                                *Jean's POV* 

                Kat stood infront of me with my hands in hers, looking me at me with her pale blue eyes that revealed how nervous she really was. Kat's face grew a darker red when she realized i was staring at her. I couldn't help but be memorized as the moon shined against her face, accenting her freckles and her ice water eyes. I noticed that when Kat was embarrassed she would let her bangs cover half of her face. I struggled for the words to reply to Kat's confession, but couldn't find the words to describe how i felt about her.

                I was caught of guard as Kat murmured "I know you have feelings for Mikasa...so please forgive me for this..." My face heated up as Kat stood on her tip toes, bringing her freckled face closer to mine. I stood there unsure what would happen. I felt Kat press her soft lips against my cheek, sending shivers down my spine. Kat kept her lips there for a minute before stepping back. Kat rarely looked insecure like she had at this moment, and it had made me want to hold her close Before i had the chance to bring her close she kept walking back saying. "F-forgive me..." her face remained red as she tuened away, running off.

                Startled by Kat dashing away, I called out to her. "H-Hey Kat!" I shouted. Kat ignored me and kept running. "Come back.." i whispered. Dammit! I punched the stables wall in frustration. I'll make sure that Kat and I make it out alive, and then I can set things straight with her. I don't love Mikasa Kat...If only I had the courage to tell you that...I shuffled to my room, mentally hating myself for not grabbing Kat and telling her my feelings in return..Damn, why is she so complicated!