binge cycle

this took me a while

Right now I have a physics exam in two days that I am studying hard for .

I know that I haven't posted in a while but I didn't see my self progressing in any kind of way . But I guess I was ignorant because now I eat whenever I feel like eating , whatever I want to eat . Because I know when I restrict food is when I mostly gain weight . I really want to lose 10 pounds but whenever I diet I gain weigh so I am trying to increase my workout and I stop eating before I go to bed for around four to five hours . And I think that what I am doing is the healthiest thing for my mentality . I stopped weighting my self a lot and restricted it to three or four times a month . Because I get really obsessive over my weight and it makes vulnerable and insecure . I sometimes weight my self after eating a lot to see the damage that I have done  .

Now I am trying to improve my skills and grow as a person . I played a basketball match with the same people as last time and it wasn't as awkward . I missed a three pointer but got it near the ring , it was a good shot .

I now draw portraits using a pen to make it harder for my self and I try to read a lot more .
Examples of the that I have been reading through the last two months .

1_ who says you can't , you can .
This book motivates me so much and I really loved it .

2_ no exit
This book scared me so much . That after finishing it I cried . But I had so much fun reading it .

3_don't let go by Harlan Coban
This book was so mysterious and thrilling . You have to check it out .

I will try to write to you guys more often . But sometimes I feel like I am a loser and I just can't write to you while feeling like that .

Ps thanks to any one who left me a beautiful comment . You made my day . And I love you all my lovely readers and I wish you a happy , delightful day .