stanley: bill
stanley: i love you
stanley: but oh my lord
stanley: stop walking around with no underwear on and just shorts
stanley: your dick literally hangs out
trashmouthtozier: lmfao
trashmouthtozier: why can i imagine that
billdenbrough: ITSOURHOUSE WHYCANTI
billdenbrough: boxers aren't comfy sometimes
stanley: I DONT WANT TO SEE IT WHILE I MAKING SAUSAGE AND EGGS OMFG
eddietozier: LOL
will.byers: i-
billdenbrough: u have literally eaten my ass before
stanley: THATS
trashmouthtozier: EW LMAO TMI
eddietozier: im
stanley: ok lets stop talking ABOUT THIS
billdenbrough: U BROUGHT IT UP
stanley: i know bc i don't want to see ur dick 24/7
billdenbrough: then you'll see it 0/7
stanley: huh
trashmouthtozier: he's saying he's not gonna let you fuck him
stanley: oh
eddietozier: are you guys... arguing?
billdenbrough: us? no. never:))
stanley: bill and i don't argue lollll
trashmouthtozier: lies i heard yelling coming from your house yesterday
trashmouthtozier: although i could not make out the words
billdenbrough: yes. stans mom was in town and decided to visit us and they started uhm
billdenbrough: yelling.. loudly. we got a noise complaint from those dumb bitches next to us
eddietozier: O O F
trashmouthtozier: ew shut up eddie
eddietozier: you shut up
trashmouthtozier: NO YOU
eddietozier: NO YOU SHUT UP U DUMB FUCKING BITCH CUNT ASS UGLY DORK
trashmouthtozier: i
trashmouthtozier: u win
stanley: yeah the argument with my mom and i got out of hand but that's not my fault
mikewheeler: it probably is LOL
billdenbrough; nah his mom showed up unexpectedly and she barged in like rlly rudely and like started talking shit about our house???? like
eddietozier: tf like what?
billdenbrough: she said how we need to tidy things up and u know stan has ocd so of course everything is perfect, and she was like you guys need to stop eating out so much.. like there was a fucking mcdonald's bag in the trash bc stan worked a late shift last night so i went out and got him mcdonald's so he could cone home and eat
eddietozier: awh that's sweet of you but she's a bitch
stanley: bill rlly is the best husband
alissa.may: actually that's mike
mike.wheeler: hm?
mike.wheeler: oh not me
eddietozier: ya know i'd think we still wouldn't have to explain it to u by now.
mike.wheeler: hush
eddietozier: u hush rude
billdenbrough: stan u are :)
stanley: nahhhhhhhhhhh
billdenbrough: hey alissa can we talk? like u me mike and stan?
alissa.may: sure
———
alissa.may has added billdenbrough + 2 more to the group.
billdenbrough: okay. so idk if this will be cool w u or not butttt
stanley: can you be our surrogate?
alissa.may: awh! i'm honored! of course. as long as it's okay with mike
mikehanlon: of course it's okay with me:) you guys are my best friends
billdenbrough: thanks guys. you're the best!!! we'll go to the sperm bank and like find out more later.
stanley: thank you so much :))
alissa.may: no problem!!
———
billdenbrough: stan and i are having a kid!! :D
trashmouthtozier: are u guys adopting?
billdenbrough: nope. alissa's gonna be our surrogate :)
eddietozier: oh my
eddietozier: are you sure alissa? that's the one thing moms against
alissa.may: i honestly don't care. i'm happy for stan and bill and i would do anything for bill :)
———
how are u guys liking the sequel?
i'm thinking about staring some drama.
