An extract from a book i'll never write | Poetry |

27: A DEATHLY GAME

The buzzing from the missed conversation has been drowned out by the music. Words drift within flimsy wire cables that carry sweet harmonies intoxicating me, filling me with memories from days long past. 

Tunes of melodies drift me back to summer when the gave them to me; surrounded by friends but it felt like it was only you there. We talked as they messed around, although I would have like to join them, I wanted to stay by your side just a little longer and enjoy the solitude of a loving conversation.

As I glance at the others splashing and laughing, I realise that I don't want this day to end and then just by chance I catch a glimpse of her, her shimmering ocean eyes look at me with a longing that I cannot giver her. I fear I would drain her emotions and call it love.

Her eyes have seen happiness but they have also seen pain. Sometimes I hate myself for seeing it because some days I think that I have given the pain to her. It tears me in half but I know from experience that with only half a heart I can still survive.

I have won wars with less than a soul that I have placed in my rotten chest. She threw me in the middle of a warzone not looking to where I without a weapon to protect myself with. As I fell into a battle, I could not survive I stared at you and all I could see was the smile as you watched me fall

I remember the way you looked at me when I said I love another. Your face turned into discusst like I was some sort of monster to you just because my feelings were wild and ran away from a lesh attached to a cage. My emotions ran to her because with her they were free and brave they overflowed to the wonders of her beauty and confidence that she sparked a light in me.

Whereas you, you wanted to cage me up and keep me by your side forever. You would rather drown me in that pool than see my smile form because of her.  She is the reason I smile more often whereas you cause doubt shadow over my mind. She stops me from hurting me and ripping my skin off my nails. She takes care of the scars that are placed from conflicted emotion that was given to me wrapped up in wrapping paper with a beautiful bow with your name inscribed on.