An extract from a book i'll never write | Poetry |

56: I SHOULD GO

Sometimes when I can't handle this world
I travel far away
Leaving the tasks undone and unclosed conversations
Adding them to the pile of urgent but unmoving tasks.

So I go
Where I cannot be found by close friendly strangers
The land on which I land on is covered in soft grass
No thorns lay waiting for me to, unfortunately, step on.

I stay there alone away from the noise
Away from the nightmares locking me in a cage alongside hurtful memories.
There is the only place where I sleep
WIthout the hassle of other peoples expectations

I can be whoever I want to be
Because there no one is like me because I am alone,
Not a sad alone that eats up someone from the inside but a sort of alone that makes one feel like they are in a state of serendipity.
I don't have to worry about the feeling of disappointing others.

The suffocation that is caused by surrounding people
Choke me like the smoke from a fire.
I breathe it in wanting to choke until it ends me
But my head pulls me into my own world like its trying to save the last little piece of me that's left.