Good Enough

Julian - A Million Advils and School

I turn over in my bed and groan into my pillow. I was trying to get some sleep so I could wake up early and finish assignments in the morning, but I can't sleep. Not when everything hurts. My head is pounding so hard I don't think even a million Advil's could fix it.

A million Advil's? Tempting, huh? That might kill you. Then again, you did fail that first time.

Maybe it's time to try again...?

I sit up and massage my temples. I hate this. So so much. At this point I might overdose just to get that fucking voice out and drown out my headache.

I get up and walk to the bathroom, trying hard not to make noise. Once I'm in the bathroom, I open our medicine cabinet and surprise surprise - our medical scissors are missing.

Mateo really thinks I'm gonna kill myself with scissors? I scoff quietly before reaching around trying to find the pill bottles. I remember we had some somewhere in here...

I find the bottle and smile to myself, knowing that one of these should stop my headache in no time.

I shake a pill out and search around in the cabinet above our sink for a cup for water.

Except in the dark, I completely miss the cup and instead send bottles of cologne and god knows what else tumbling of the cabinet.

"Shit shit shit." I mutter when they land on the floor with a loud clang, and I hurry to pick them up. Thankfully, nothing's broken.

I can't see where they have to go though. So now I have to turn on the light.

I sigh and start putting things back, and once I'm done, I fill my cup up with water to swallow the pill. I pour the rest of the water down the drain and put the bottle of Advil back, and once everything's back in its place, I shut off the light and walk out into the hallway.

And into Mateo. I blink a few times to try and adjust to the dark out here. I swear to god, it's like he's everywhere.

I start to back away from him and to my room.

"Julian?" He whispers.

I half turn. "What?"

"What are you doing awake? It's like three in the morning."

"Yes, I'm aware. I just needed to use the bathroom." I say, clearly annoyed. I mean, Jesus Christ. Everything's always an interrogation with him.

"Okay. Jesus. You're cranky at night."

"Just go to sleep Mateo."

"You go to sleep. I'm older."

"And?"

"That means I don't have to listen to you. So go. Sleep little brother."

I roll my eyes. "Okay."

I walk back into my room and sit on the bed, but I'm still not tired. My headache's gone; but my face still hurts. Especially my eye.

I lay back into the bed and close my eyes, letting the pills take there toll on me and lull me to sleep.

***
In the morning, I wake up quickly and rush around, hoping to get out of the house before Mateo even wakes up. Especially after the bathroom mirror tells me my bruised eye got worse, not better. There's definitely going to be an whole conversation on it if I don't go.

I take the stairs two at a time, hoisting my backpack over my shoulder. Glancing into the kitchen, I see that it's empty. Which means I've woken up early enough to leave without Mateo seeing. I smile to myself before heading towards the door. I have my phone, my bag, my sweatshirt, shoes...everything I think.

My stomach rumbles then, reminding me I didn't have lunch or dinner last night. Or even breakfast really. Well, crap. There's no time to eat now. If I spent time looking for something to eat, Mateo would surely wake up and get to me before I can leave. So I grab a water bottle from the kitchen and  make my way towards the door. My hand is on the handle when I hear a slow and sleepy voice say,

"Nice try."

I groan internally before putting my head on the door in defeat. Seriously. He seriously had to wake up. How does he manage to do this every single day? How does he manage to care?

He doesn't care. Just pretends to, the voice reminds me.

Mateo takes a few steps closer, but I don't take my hand off the doorknob. If I really wanted to, I could throw open the door and run out. But I doubt that would end well for me.

So instead I take my hand and my face off the door, but without turning to face Mateo. I know the bruise looks bad. I don't want him to comment on it and ask more questions about it.

"You can't get rid of me that easily," Mateo says  

"Clearly not, considering you're talking me right now. Don't you have a life?"

Mateo's tone softens. "Yeah, but you're a part of my life."

Damn it, I hate when he gets all sweet with me. I never know what to say.

A few awkward seconds pass by and I can feel Mateo looking at me. But I still don't answer. He gives in finally and sighs, and I smile a little knowing I outlasted him in our little game of silence.

"Wrists?" He asks.

"Can we just not do that today?"

"Why not?" Mateo asks suspiciously.

"Because. I don't fucking feel like it."

"Hmmm... Nope not good enough of answer. Show me."

I do as he says and turn with my sleeves up. Mateo looks them over quickly before moving his scrutinizing gaze over to my face, specifically my eye.

"Hey Julian if someone is giving you trouble at school, you can always t-."

I shove my sleeves back down and whirl back to face the door. We're not having this conversation. Not this early in the morning.

I fling open the door and step out; ignoring Mateo's calls to come back and actually talk to him.

"Bye!" I fall over my shoulder, and they sag in relief once I'm a safe distance away from him and all his fake care.

Twenty minutes later I'm in the school, waiting with Foster to get the new students who need tours. I wasn't kidding when I said I was in everything. Everything includes student government, which includes giving tours to the new kids. I don't mind it, except for the fact that I need to miss so much class and then make up so much work.

Like the history notes...the English assignment...

Foster's voice cuts me out of my thoughts. "Alright so I say we split the kids, three each?"

I nod. "Yeah sure."

"Cool. Pick your three."

My eyes scan over the list. Some are seniors, but it's mostly freshman. There's only one junior on the list, and the name stands out among the rest. Mia Blake. It has to be her. There can't be more than one Mia at this school in one day. That's way too coincidental.

"Mia, Erin, and Cole. Those are my three."

Foster raises his eyebrows at me. "You tryna get a taste of the new junior?"

I shove him on the shoulder while shaking my head. Of course he would think that. "No. Jesus."

Foster just laughs and  after a while we go back to talking about the terrible teachers at our school while we wait for the new kids. The first one there is Theo, but he's with Foster. The next one through the door is Mia.

I smile a little. My guess was right. And now I get to spend the whole day with her.