Good Enough

Mia - The End - Part 4

I start spouting out questions. Where is he. What's wrong. I keep asking and he keeps trying to answer, but his voice starts to shake he can't answer me that honestly, I can hear it.

"Julian what did you do?"

"I took a shitload of pills Mia. I took them because I want die. I want to die so bad. I want someone to stop me from being this way...but no one can because this just me."

"Julian? Where are you?" I don't understand. What is he saying?

"I'm under a tree...you know the sky looks the color of your eyes. I love your eyes Mia."

"Julian! Tell me where exactly. What tree?"

I get up off my bed and start to run out my door as I wait for him to respond.

"Where I met you...that was a good day...until it wasn't. That day got bad really fast."

Shit. Those pills must be working. He's out of it.

I keep on going to the trail. I stay on the line just so I can hear Julian breathing. That's what keeps me running.

I finally see someone propped up against a tree and I run even faster to kneel down at his side.

"J-Julian?"

He looks at me with eyes that are glazed over. He's shaking. He's shaking really bad.

"Mia! You came." His words are barely intelligible.

"Of course I did." I say quickly, trying to figure what to do now.

His eyebrows furrow together. "I told you she cared. You're the reason I'm all fucked up! If you would just shut up I wouldn't be here right now."

"Julian..?"

"Shut up! Stop! She's here! She cares!"

He must be really out of it.

"Julian? Hey look at me. Julian how many pills did you take?"

"Just one...bottle of em."

"Shit Julian! No no no."

I grab my phone again and call 911. I shout to tell the dispatcher the situation, the whole time trying to fight off Julian who's trying to grab my phone.

"Stop Mia! I want to die!" He cries out, his voice wavering with sobs.

The operator told me people are on their way. I hope they hurry. It hurts me to see him like this.

"Julian, stop saying that. If you wanted to die you wouldn't have called me."

"I just didn't want to die alone..."

I grab his hand and squeeze it tightly. "You're not gonna die Julian."

"But I want to!" He shouts, before his voice dissolved into a lot of shallow breaths.

I hear the ambulance coming and I feel myself immediately full with relief. He'll be okay. Julian's going to be okay. He's going to get help.

The paramedics tell me to move out of the way and they quickly start to work on Julian. He fights them the whole time, telling them to stop and let him die. It take the two paramedics to get him to the ambulance.

"Can I come with him?" I ask

They barely nod before continuing to work on Julian. They need to get all those pills out of his system.

I grab Julian's phone from the ground climb into the ambulance and we start speeding away. I bite my nails nervously as I watch Julian continuing to try and fight them off.

"Stop!" He screams. "Why the fuck would you do this to me Mia? How could you do this? I just didn't want to be alone! Now it's all your fault! I'm alive and it's all your fault!" Towards the end his shouts are more like screeches and all I can do is stare at him and try not to let the words affect me that much.

I take his phone and unlock it with shaky hands. Julian told me the password a long time ago but I still remember. The most recent call was to me. After me it's Mateo. I think that's his brother.

I dial it and wait. Mateo picks up the phone insanely fast.

"I'm so sorry Julian. I'm sorry i yelled at you. I didn't mean to. I really didn't. I was just frustrated and please just tell me you're okay."

I close my eyes. How do you tell someone their brother tried to kill himself?

"Mateo..." I start but he doesn't let me finish. New tears start to roll down my face.

"What? Who is this? What happened?"

"Julian tried to kill himself" I whisper.

"He...he what?"

"He tried to kill himself. He called me and he had taken a lot of pills."

"Y-you're lying."

"I'm sorry. But I'm not. I'm in the ambulance right now. We're going to the hospital."

"I'll be there. He's okay right?"

"I-I don't know yet."

Mateo hangs up the phone and I bury my face in my hands to cry. My boyfriend tried to kill himself. He thought I wouldn't come if he called because he thought I didn't care.

I look at Julian and he's finally calmed down.

Oh Julian...

Why?

*** 

that awkward moment when I didn't realize I made the ending hella long. there's more parts still I think. oh well