Good Enough

Mia - Coffee, or Something

I wait patiently for Julian to say something. What I like about phone calls is that you can't stop responding, or pretend you didn't see a message. You're forced to talk, unless you hang up, but that's not the best thing to do unless you're really trying to avoid your problems.

"Well," he starts. His voice does sound a lot deeper over the phone. It's kind of...hot.

"Oh my god. He's sooooo hot Mia. You should invite him to come to the beach with us on Saturday." She said as Shawn walked away. He'd just been talking to me, and the conversation ended with his number in my phone.

I smiled as I thought of the possibility of us going to the beach together.

Except she continued, and her next words wiped the smile right off my face. "Of course, then he's have to see you in a bikini. Might not want to do that yet." She said the last part with a pointed look at my lunch.

I slowly put my sandwich down. I wasn't hungry anyways.

"Look who's spacing out now." Says Julian through the phone, lulling me out of my thoughts.

"What? Sorry. Just thinking. You were saying?"

"It's okay. And I was trying to explain why I ran out so fast. That is what you wanted to know right?"

"Yeah."

It scared me how he seemed as if he didn't leave that instant, something was going to happen. He was scared and frantic, and it was a strange look on Julian. Kind of. I feel like half of the time he's calm and easygoing, but the other half he's freaking out over homework. It's strange. But I can't help but find myself being drawn to it. He has a likable personality.

"Oh well, my...dad freaks out about school a lot. So when he got that call, he was bound to be pissed. I wanted to get there as soon as possible so I could explain. Diffuse the situation so I didn't get...grounded. Yeah. That's why I ran."

I don't know. Something about his explanation seems...off.

"You sure that's why?" I ask suspiciously.

"Uh, yeah. My dad just cares a lot about my future you know?"

Actually, I don't know. My mom doesn't talk to me about that kind of stuff. We don't really talk at all.

"Yeah, I get what you mean."

I can hear Julian's sigh of relief. "Okay. Great. Now that we've got that out of the way though..."

"Um...how was your day?" I say, my voice sounding very unsure.

Julian's laugh comes out loud through the phone. "Pretty good. I fell asleep with this beautiful girl on my shoulder. I'm pretty lucky to know her."

Heat creeps up on my cheeks, and I'm glad that we're not having this conversation in person. "She sounds great."

"Oh trust me. She is. I wish I could get to know her better though."

A smile spreads across my face. His mood changed fast, but definitely for the better. "Maybe I could help you. I think I know the girl you're talking about."

"Oh really? That's great. I'll take any information you've got on her."

"Well...her favorite color is grey."

"Grey? Is that even a color?"

"It is most definitely a color!"

"It's a sad color that's what it is." Julian says with a scoff.

"Not all colors need to be happy." I argue.

"Okay, I guess not. Whatever. Anything else."

"Uh...she likes dogs?"

"Fascinating."

I laugh at his tone.  "Okay, why don't you say something about yourself then, if she's so 'fascinating'."

"Sure. My favorite color is yellow. I've always wanted a pet."

"You've never had a pet?" I ask, completely shocked. Seems like everyone you meet has had at the least a gold fish.

"No. Have you?"

"Um, no actually. Why haven't you? Is someone in your family allergic?"

He hesitates before answering. "Something like that."

Something like that? What's that mean? But I don't have a chance to ask before he asks why I haven't had any.

"Before it was because my dad didn't like the idea of pets, and he knew we'd be crushed when it died. Now it's because we move too often for it be easy to have a pet."

"Why do you move around so much?"

"I don't know."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No I mean I really don't know. I think it's because my mom likes fresh starts. It started after the divorce. She just likes starting over a lot. Sometimes it feels like she's trying to prove something to my dad. But then it hurts her when he doesn't give a shit."

I don't even realize that I've said so much until I stop talking. I haven't had anyone to tell everything to. Well, I haven't Julian everything  yet. But it's more than I've told anyone else since moving here. 

"Wow. That really sucks." Julian says after a minute of silence.

"Yeah. Welcome to the tragic tales of Mia." I say dryly. I know I don't have it as obviously bad as other people. 

I remember there was a girl at my school, Ayonna Halls. Everyone called her "emo girl". It came out a little bit later that she was a cutter. She was a foster kid, and her life was horrible. But we still all judged her for cutting. I couldn't understand it. I still don't. How can you just slice into your skin like that? Like...like nothing?

Hey, at least I'm not there yet. I think. At least what I'm doing isn't hurting me.

It's really only helping.

"Not as tragic as mine," Julian mutters. Or at least I think that's what he says. I couldn't hear that well. 

"What?"

"Nothing," He says quickly. "What are you doing?"

Hm, that's weird. Maybe he didn't say anything?

"You sure you didn't say any-"

"Hey you want to go get coffee or something?" Julian blurts out, interrupting me.

Wait.

What?

Is he...is he asking to actually hang out with me?

We haven't even talked that much. But we've talked everyday.

"W-what?" I stutter out.

"Go...get coffee. Or something. One day. Not today though. I'm swamped with homework."

"Right. Um. Get a coffee?"

"I mean unless, of course you don't want to. That's totally fine." Julian says quickly.

"No, you just surprised me."

You might have to eat something in front of him.

You'll have to talk more about yourself, maybe even before and her.

What if he's you outside of school and thinks you're ugly? Or fat?

Okay...all of those things are possibilities, I remind myself. I said I wanted to be friends with him. That's what friendship entails: hanging out.

"I'd love to hang out." I say with a real smile.

 I haven't worn one in a while.

Greetings from a suffering human (aka me). Haven't had a chance to write because of homework and summer school, but I'm back, and I'll be back just because I want to write in Julian's POV. Anyways though, as always, sorry it's trash but I hope you like it.

Also, new cover! I was kind of proud of myself for it. I thought it looked nice. Or should I go back to the old one???

- MM