Good Enough

Julian - Falling...Falling...Falling

The next day I go to school, dark circles prominent under my eyes as I take my seat in class. I stayed up until three and woke up around six. I'm scared I'm going to fall asleep just sitting here. My right eye keeps twitching from my lack of sleep, I can't quit yawning, and my head feels like if I even try to do something productive, it'll explode.

I manage to stay awake through all of my classes, but by the time I get to lunch, it takes everything in me not to fall asleep on our table. No ones really talking. I look like death, Mia doesn't look any better, Lana is stressed about an art project, and Foster just looks like he isn't in the mood to talk. I rest my head on my hand and feel myself start to nod off before jumping back awake. Ive almost fallen asleep four times on the span of five minutes. My friends all share worried glances at me before George coughs awkwardly, adjusting his glasses on his nose. We used to make fun of him for it, but that died down once we got to high school.

I lift my head from my hand and sigh loudly. "I think I'm going to -."

'Drea interrupts me. "Take a nap? Please say yes. This is torturous to watch."

"Sorry."

George shrugs. "It's alright, but you really should sleep more."

"Yeah...But I also have a lot of things to do."

Andrea sighs and looks around the rest of the table. "Can we all agree that Julian is too damn stubborn and should listen to us and get some sleep?"

Everyone immediately agrees and it brings a small smile to my face to know they care about my personal health.

Drea grins. "Great. Now go to sleep."

I stare at her. "Now?"

"Yes now."

"I'm not sleeping with you all staring at me."
I say with humor in my voice.

Drea sighs dramatically. "Fine then. Go to the library and sleep. No ones ever in there anyways."

I open my mouth to argue but Mia talks before I can. "Come on, I'll go with you."

Foster nudges me under the table and gives me a "Now's your chance because she's hot" look. I glare at him but he only smiles at me. I roll my eyes, but get up anyways. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to just...relax for a minute. 

"See you guys later then." I say as I start to walk away.

"You better not come to practice. I'll call your mother!" 'Drea shouts after me. I give her an entirely fake smile and a laugh as Mia and I leave them at the table.

She has no clue your Mom left you because she didn't love you. But she should be able to tell. i man look at you. How could someone like you actually have a mother stick around?

Mia is quiet on our walk over to the library, but some am I. I don't really know what to say to her. I know I want to get to know her better, but I also know that there's no way I can ever let any friend get genuinely close to me, so it would be a disappointing friendship for her. It's not worth her time, and I don't have the extra friends anyways. Foster, 'Drea, all of them are just friends at school. maybe they hang out outside of it, but I never do. If/when they invite me, I always have perfect excuses. 

We sit down at a lonely table by the nonfiction resource books hardly anyone ever checks out. I immediately rest my chin on my hand again, but Mia just sits with her hands wrapped around her stomach like she's hugging herself. She looks absolutely miserable.

"You wanna fall asleep?" I ask her. She nods slowly before rubbing her eyes tiredly. I scoot my chair closer to hers and pat my shoulder for her to lean her head against it. "Take a nap then. I'll make sure to wake you up."

Mia considers before shaking her head no. "You were the one that was falling asleep. You take a nap."

I smile at her. "I'm fine now. Come on. You look terrible."

"How rude."

I laugh slightly, "You know what I mean. Please sleep."

I can tell she's too tired to argue any further with me, because she leans her head on my shoulder without anymore protest. She's asleep quickly, and seeing her asleep just reminds me of the three hours of sleep I got. Maybe a small nap wouldn't hurt...

I take my phone out and set an alarm to go off five minutes before lunch ends. The thing is, I fell asleep before I hit the "Set" button. Because god knows how much later, I wake up to Mia shaking me. I blink a few times before realizing we're still in library, and it's definitely not lunch anymore.

I sit up straighter and look at Mia with wide eyes. "Shit. How long were we asleep?"

Mia bites the edge of her thumbnail nervously. "There's five minutes of last period left."

If possible, my eyes grow wider. "Shit!" This is not good. This is so not good. I have a truancy now. I missed so much work...and Dad's going to kill me.

He might actually kill me. He's already mad enough about the DUI he got. Oh god.

Mia puts her hand on my shoulder gently. "A-Are you okay?"

"Yes. And no. I'll explain later. I have to go."

"School isn't even-"

"I know but I'm already truant anyways. I just really have to go."

Mia looks confused but she takes her hand off my shoulder and sighs. "Okay. Text or call me later."

I nod before picking up my backpack from the library floor and booking it out the door. our librarian doesn't spare me a second glance as I'm practically running out. I head straight for the back gate that's always open. The security guard isn't here again, and I silently thank god before starting to sprint as fast as I can to the house. The attendance office calls whenever we miss more than one period. And if Dad's home, I'm absolutely dead. And even if by some miracle of god he didn't hear the call, Mateo would. And then I would get in trouble with him. Which will lead to a whole lot of different problems and questions I don't want to answer. I wish I lived with actually rational people who would listen when I tell them the truth. But no. Like father, like son, they never let me explain anything. Even if the only reason I'm tired was because I was trying to finish all my work. 

I run up the walkway into my house, grabbing my key from my backpack and jamming it into the front door lock before swinging the door open. I shut it and drop my backpack where I'm standing, rushing into the living room. That's the only place that has a landline phone in our house, and the school only has that number, thankfully. 

"This is a call from the attendance office. Julian Ortega was marked absent for one or more periods. If you have already talked to the office, please ignore this message. If not, please talk to them as soon as-."

I try to catch my breath as I stare at my dad holding the phone, my heart nearly stopping when he ends the voicemail and drops the phone on the floor. He has a Corona bottle in his other hand. My heavy breathing is the only sound in the room, and it pierces the silence. Anger radiates off my dad.

He turns, the neck of the bottle clenched tightly in his fist. My eyes widen as they lock with his. His next word is so filled with anger it doesn't even register in my mind until he's coming towards me and I'm stumbling back.

"You!"