Fallen For My Kidnapper (COMPLETED)

Chapter 40 - Love And Trust

I skipped dinner that night when I found out that they were going to be having one big family reunion. Instead, I stayed in my room, got under the sheets, and watched movies until I fell asleep. In my dreams, I was looking out a window to where I could see woods, but they were so far away. I put my hand up to the glass, feeling the dew fall over my fingers as I held it there. A feeling of peace washed over me.

"Roseilin," I heard the voice of Newman calling my name. I was running, down halls and through rooms that I had never seen before, but his voice was always right there. I couldn't find the door. I couldn't find anyone else to help me get out. 

"No, please, Newman, don't," I was screaming, tearing through the never ending house to try and find even a window for me to jump from. I didn't care what floor I was on, I didn't know what floor I was on. I didn't know anything other than the voice that was in my head. 

Newman's face appeared before me, his body walking towards me as he looked at me with murderous eyes. I screamed, turning and turning until I couldn't see anything anymore. 

"Roseilin," his sing song voice wouldn't move. It was in my head, swirling and causing my vision to blur. I couldn't see. I couldn't feel. I could only scream. 

"Rose!" My eyes snapped open to see Marcus standing above me, concern etched throughout his face. My breathing was labored, heavy, and fast. Marcus sat me up, putting his arm around me as I got my breathing under control. We sat together, my head on his chest and his arm holding me to him. "I'm sorry," I told him. 

"Don't apologize for something you can't control," he whispered. I nodded. 

"I lied to you," I said it so quietly that I hoped he didn't hear. 

"I know," was all he said. 

"I'm sorry."

"I am too." We sat there for another couple of seconds. I heard Rylee's voice in my head, telling me that Marcus was different from my other exes. That I needed to give him a shot, but I knew that if there was anything that I lied about that he wouldn't trust me. I needed him to trust me. 

"You have questions," I started, unwrapping his arm from me and looking at him. It took him a second, but he nodded. "Ask them."

"I don't want you to tell me anything that you aren't ready to," he told me. 

"I'm ready to tell you everything that you want to know. I know that I can be shut down some times, but I do have my reasons, and if you knew them then maybe you wouldn't take any of them so personally."

"I don't take anything personally," he said. 

"You were angry with me just this morning," I muttered. He looked at me with a confused look. 

"I wasn't angry, I was worried."

"You yelled at me," I reminded him. He sighed, shifting so that we were facing each other more. 

"I yelled at you because you scared me. There was nothing that I could do for you if I wanted my family to get out of there alive, and I had to trust that Zach was going to be able to get you out."

"He did," I said. "And everything that happened there had to happen. You needed to get your family home, and I wasn't going to let that not happen when I knew there was a way for you to win."

"We didn't win, Roseilin," he said. "I...I thought...I thought that I had lost you." I smirked at him, ignoring my heart and using my humor. 

"You aren't going to be able to get rid of me that easy, not then, not now, not ever." He nodded, playing with my hands in his lap as he thought. 

"Who hurt you?" he asked me quietly. I took a deep breath, trying to remember that this was for the good of both of us. He needed to know. He needed  to know.

"My ex-boyfriend," I told him. "He brought me to a party with his friends one night and drugged me. I don't remember much of in between, but I came to when the sirens came. Someone walking down he street thought that it was two kids messing around in the back of a car. Little did they know that they were saving me."

"I'm so sorry-"

"I used to be able to remember a little of it. I could see a blurry face, feel something, but I was never able to really see what he was doing." I paused. "Now all I can see is Newman's face in the back of the car..." We remained silent. "People at school thought that I was just someone who had a toxic personality and didn't want to have any friends, but the truth was that not only did my dad teach me to not show people I don't trust my emotions, but he taught me that there was no one that I really could trust. 

"I guess when that all happened, I believed him for the first time. I shut myself down. I went to school every day and I went home. The only time that I was going to participate in anything was for prom, but that has long since passed, and I probably got saved a really lonely night.

"Anyways, I don't have many friends, and I don't trust people, and I thought that I would never be able to have sex or be normal, but it's not about the sex for me. I have to trust someone, love them, and believe that they trust and love me to. If I don't have those things, than I can't have sex with someone."

"Leila did a lot more damage than people know," Marcus said. I looked at him, shocked that he not only was opening up but opening up about Leila. "I know that it wasn't just her, and that my parents forced her to come out of the shadows. Most of the time I know that it was for the best, but sometimes I used to think that it was okay that she didn't love me. At least then I wouldn't have been so lonely." 

He rested his head on mine, our breathing coming together as we sat there. I wondered what kind of damage Marcus was referring to, but I didn't want to push. I thought about what I had just confessed to him, about love and trust. I wondered if I loved and trusted Marcus. And if I didn't now, if I could learn to later. 

"Come to my room with me tonight," he asked me. I nodded my head and he took my hand, walking us through the long vacated halls and up the stairs to his room. I stood next to his bed as he went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. I still fell in love with the view every time that I was in here, which admitatly wasn't that often. 

I felt his hand go around my waist and I jumped, my breath speeding up for a second before going back down.

"I'm sorry-"

"No," I said, turning around. "Keep it there, I was just startled." He returned his hand to my body, looping it around my lower back as we stood there. I leaned up, reaching his lips as he reached for mine. 

"Are you sure this is okay?" he asked me. I nodded my head, pushing the tears back down. This was Marcus. He was good. He wasn't going to hurt me. I kissed him again, forgetting my fear and instead feeling his warmth. He laid be down on the bed, kissing my neck as he laid down behind me. I felt the weight of his arm over my waist, locking me in as he buried his head into my neck. 

N/A  I actually teared up with Roseilin this last night. Agh I can't sometimes with everything I am putting this girl through. 

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