IronDad One Shots // IronDad And SpiderSon

British Accents Are Hot

Requested by @Fluttercord_smile

I didn't have any other ideas for your request sorry

This kinda turned into a two truths one line chapter so sorry for that.

   Peter Parker was American. Born in Queens, raised in Queens. Well, that's what the Avengers thought, and Peter would love to keep it that way. The truth is, Peter had actually been born in England when his mom and dad decided to stay there to get away from work for a while. They had liked the country so much; fancy drinks, posh accents and clothes, with hardly any road accidents or cars honking, they had settled on living there for the foreseeable future.

   So Peter lived in a small town in Kingston, attending a boy's school and developing his knowledge for science every afternoon with his irritable father. He had loved the country he was born in, his favorite snack happened to be a custard cream, to calm himself down he would drink a hot cup of PG Tips, he called soccer football - he was very British. But then his parents died and he was forced to move into a small apartment in some random city in America, where there was always gunshots or cars screaming at each other, that terrified the five year old so much that he had to sleep on the couch every night until he adjusted.

   He quickly realized how his accent wasn't normal. Practically everyone mixed their words or didn't pronounce letters, and he knew he would have to change the way he spoke to fit in with his other classmates in the private school he had gotten a scholarship to. To avoid being bullied by some ass who called himself a ridiculous stripper name; Flash, he dropped a few letters and focused on moving his voice to practice an authentic New Yorker accent.

   But it was safe to say, the Avengers were more than shocked when they found out.

-,-

    "Okay, so who's going first?" Tony waved and sipped his apple and cranberry non alcoholic cocktail. The team had just come back from another Hydra takedown mission and decided against the usual shawarma. Instead, they were all sitting around an extra large coffee table playing dumb games as a 'bonding exercise' proposed by Steve to get to know the newer Avengers. They had finished Truth or Dare, which only lasted four rounds before it had to be stopped due to inappropriate truths and ridiculous dares.

'Okay, Stark. Two truths, one lie, you know the rules." (I didn't wanna be cliché sorry)

"Okay, I got bullied all of my childhood, me and Rhodey were each other's first kiss, my father said he loved me." He winked at Steve who looked kind of shocked.

"No way, Mister Stark! You got bullied?" An unmasked Peter asked. He was wearing one of Tony's old MIT hoodies paired with looser sweatpants. Tony just laughed and shook his head.

"That was the lie, Parker. Unfortunately," Rhodey sighed, dropping his head into his hands while Tony clapped him on the back, making kissing sounds.

"When did Howard. . . ?" Steve trailed off. Through all of the years the soldier had known the genius, he had claimed multiple times that his father was cruel to him. But was that just one of the many things Tony would just say?

"A while back. Never said it to my face, but it was a video that he made about his Greatest Creation, which was apparently the piping hot mess you see before you." Although he was trying to hide it with those godawful sunglasses, there was a string of obvious sadness mixed with pride gleaming from his eyes. "Okay, who's next."

"Me, me, me," Peter clamoured, setting down his cherry beverage. "Alright. Uh, I'm adopted, I have a bully called Flash, I'm British." He finished with an uneasy smile. He glanced around as he waited for their expressions to change from confusion.

"Is it the bully one?" Bruce asked in an obviously hopeful tone. The others swiveled their heads (owls) to face Peter, waiting in anticipation for his answer.

"How funny are your faces gonna be when I say no?" Peter joked, trying to lighten the atmosphere - but failing. "God, I suck at this game."

  "Wait, which one is the lie?" Tony asked, raising his voice slightly. It was obvious to everyone in the room that they all wanted the lie to be about Flash.
 
   "The adopted one," Peter said softly. He was starting to get embarrassed with all of the attention like usual, and his cheeks began to dust over with a pale shade of a rosy pink. He knew he should've picked other truths, ones that definitely wouldn't rile up the Avengers to tease him about; wether he was from a different country pretending to be normal, or too weak to stand up to his bully.

   "Wait, so that means you're actually British?" Clint asked, pointing his spoon at him that happened to be covered in yoghurt. Peter raised his brow at the food he hadn't realized Sam to be eating (and kind of wanted some) but nodded anyways.

   "Yeah, it also means he's getting bullied!" Tony shouted, causing Peter to flinch. The man sighed and shook his head. "We're taking about this later, kid. But what the fu- heck, you come from the posh country? The tea sippers? The suit wearers? The smart nerds?"

   "Mister Stark, I'm pretty sure none of us would be here right now if you weren't a smart nerd yourself," Peter grinned as the others laughed. "Besides, it's only in some parts of the country that has really posh people. The rest is kind off a mix between cockney or other accents that can make any 'smart nerd' sound like an idiot - no offense. And a lot of what you described are stereotypes, not to be taken seriously, as -"

   "Alright, alright. Enough babbling," Sam said with a major eye roll, which earned a slap on the bicep from Natasha, who didn't like it when someone stopped the kid from talking.

    "Can you do your accent?" Wanda asked, her own Sokovian accent present in her voice. Peter shook his head with a small frown.

   "Nah, I don't like my British accent. Anyways, who's turn is it?"

-.-

   Since Peter wasn't willingly going to present his real voice to his family, Thor had produced the amazing idea of tricking him into speaking like he normally would when he was younger. It was always pretty easy to mess with the kid so they decided it was better than Bucky's plan of taking away the suit until he spoke. He had claimed he wasn't serious and was completely joking, but the others were still suspicious.

   Since Clint had managed to piss off each one of his friends the night before, he was nominated to try to trick Peter into using his foreign accent. And since Clint was lazy - he opted for the easy way out, not particularly caring wether he got results or not. So he trudged down the facility steps, (himself and Tony had bought FitBits and were currently competing against each other for the highest amount of steps throughout the day) his face stoic and his arms and legs wrapped in white bandages that he halfassed applied.

   "Hey Pete," he greeted in a monotone. The teen was lounging on the marble island table, drinking a half pint of orange drink. "You know Tony'll have your ass if you don't get down for there." He stopped, processing what the kid was drinking. This is my chance, he thought to his whirring mind. "Hey kid. Pass me some OJ?"

   "Sure," He said, in his American accent- damn! Peter held out the almost empty cartoon while Clint just sighed.

   "Welp," He said, taking the plastic container. We took a quick swig and grimaced at the acidic taste that ran down his tongue. "I tried."

Hey hey! *insert clown laugh*

I'm h a p p y!!!

How are y'all today?

S m i l e beauties!!

Was in a dark place today so wanted to let anyone who needs to talk to someone that I'm here. Wether it's dumbass reasons or responses or ya just wanna rant, pm me.

It sucks when you feel like you're alone, but you're really not.

Requests closed cuz I have like 70 to do oh shit