Just another lonely girl

31

Alot has changed when Kari fell into a deep coma. But we didn't know that ALOT and MANY things will happen and change when she finally woke up.

To summarize, SHE ISN'T THE PERSON THAT WE ONCE KNEW.

She wanted to die everyday and we continue to watch her suffer in pain.

Why?

Her mother died when she woke up.

People continue to judge her without knowing her personally. People continue to talk about her behind her back.

People continue to hurt her without knowing that she wanted to die.

2 years later and the pain still continues.

But this time, she alot more worse.

-×-

"Kariiiii lumabas ka naman ng bahay for once! Its summer!"

"Ayoko nga sabi..."

Nakahiga lang ako but I feel so tired. Pakiramdam ko bali bali na ang mga buto ko. Pakiramdam ko dinaganan ako ng ngapakalaking bato.

What's my purpose of living?

Bakit pa tayo binuhay kung mamatay din tayo?

"Kari naman! Just listen to me once" sabi ni Jiane

"Ayoko nga eh...dito lang ako..."

My mother died right after I woke up. What hurts is I deeply resented her and despises her and I didn't even had the chance to talk to her and say sorry. I didn't appreciate her enough. That's what hurts me so much.

I didn't realized and remember the time that she protected me and cared for me. Because I was too negative about her.

Ang sakit sakit kasi...sobrang sakit kasi araw araw ko siyang kasama and I didn't even grabbed the chance to tell her I love her and to thank her.

And I wanted to die.

Because I'm such a worthless person.

I'm such a worthless daughter.

Lord please let me die.

"Wala kang kwentang ina!"

"Puro pera lang nasa isip mo!"

"She married a 70 yrs old man for money"

But she did it for my sake.

She did it so that I could study

She did it because she had no choice

And I didn't appreciate her sacrifices.

Only if I could go back to the past. Only if I could correct my mistakes. Only if I could make things right again. I would do it. But its not possible.

Everyday I'm losing hope on living.

I'm a burden to anyone. Burden to my friends and family.

I'm useless...

So God please kill me

"ATRENA!" Dariz barged into the room and he suddenly hugged me.

Oh...

Oh.

This warm fuzzy feeling is back again...

"Da..Dariz? Ano ba?"

"Mom baked a cake for you...want to try it out?"

"Sure...but why are you hugging me?"

"Because I just realized that you're the most valuable person that I could ever have and I can't afford to lose you"

Even after all the pain and the things that happened to me.

This man, brings back all my hope.

I have gotten worse they say...

Yeah.

Pinunasan ko ang gilid ng labi ni Dariz dahil nalagyan ito ng icing. Ikinuha ko siya ng tubig.

I even took a picture of him, eating.

"Yan na naman to! Lumalala na yung kalandian niyong dalawa!" Sabi ni Jiane

"Hoy! Ako lang lumalandi sa kanya! Wag mo isama si Dariz ko dito!" Sigaw ko kay Jiane

"Hayaan mo na mahal ko, bitter kasi yang si Jiane kasi walang boyfriend" sabi naman ni Dariz

"CHE! Magsama kayo!" Sigaw ni Jiane at nagwalk out habang kami naman ni Dariz ay natawa lang.

Thats what they meant when they said I have gotten worse.

Malandi na raw ako ngayon. EH WALA AKONG PAKE!

2 years ago, I was so broken and I didn't even want to live.

Kahit ngayon, may mga instances na naiisip ko parin ang mga problema ko at sobrang nalulungkot.

Pero iniisip ko na lang, my mom wouldn't like to see me in hell while she's in heaven.

May mga times na pakiramdam ko pabigat ako at wala akong kwenta.

But my friends...even though sometimes they let me down. They never fail to pay me back with love and care.

And the most important person in my life right now...Dariz.

I don't know I fell deeply inloved with him but its just...he never left me. He never gave up on me. And he's the nicest thing that life ever gave me.

Yung bigla ka nalang na mapapasabi na

"Oh shit I love this guy"

Lyvie and Jb is still together. Even though there are alot of things that happened that almost broke their relationship. It just made their relationship stronger. Thats what I adore.

Rainer is the same but he has a girlfriend now! He finally found the one for him and even though sometimes things aren't going well for him, we always support him in anyway we can.

Zill is studying in a new school now but we always see each other since he always hangs out with us after his school. He became much taller and he's taller than me now!

Jiane...she hasn't change! Bitter parin at demonyo. Nothing much to say, except di siya makamove on sa crush niya na nireject siya. (Lol sorry Jiane)

Mycen is still at the prison and I swear that I will never face his ugly face again.

Yes. Alot has changed.

Well there are things that didn't change. I'm still sad about everything

But it doesn't mean that I can't be happy too.

Even though things turned our this way, I'm still happy because it made a better person.

I'm alot stronger.

And I will not give up anymore.

I will try to survive this challenging, sad and not very exciting life.

Things happens for a reason.

Broken family, broken friendships. Lonely days and very sad days.

But I'm not alone.

There are hundreds to millions of people who are suffering like me.

I'm just another lonely girl.