The Lies We Tell

Chapter 22:

Chapter 22:

As the final bell rung I got up from my seat and walked past Liam. He glanced at me quickly before making his way over to Mason. I let out a sigh and hugged my books to my chest before walking the other direction. It was a routine, our routine. He would always pick me up from 7th hour, make some stupid joke, and walk me to my locker before planting a kiss on my cheek, and going to his locker. I walked alone and tried to enter my combo. My hand shook as it didn't feel right. I tried over and over, quickly becoming frustrated. I was about to break when Lydia showed up next to me.

"Almost ready?" I smiled and nodded quickly. My hand still shook as I tried to open it one more time. Somehow I succeeded and threw my stuff in, grabbing my bag as well. I turned to her and smiled. We didn't talk much on the way out to her car, but the second I was inside that changed.

"So what's new?" She said and drove out of the parking lot. I shrugged and looked out the window.

"Nothing really, other then the fact that Liam's ignoring me." I said. She looked at me as we stopped at a red light.

"It's hard for him, the move I mean." I nodded. I knew it was hard, I knew he would have to move on eventually. I just wasn't ready. I just sat there, fiddling with my hands. I stared out the window a last time before we arrived at Macy's. I got out of the car and walked awkwardly with Lydia. Shopping wasn't necessarily one of my favorite things to do..... I walked with Lydia to the dress section and glanced through all the ones without sparkle, and glitter, and sequences. I looked at the basics, the ones that matched me. I stopped to look at her for a second and smiled. I haven't had many friends throughout my time and with Nessa being all busy with Garrett it felt good to hang with Lydia. I haven't talked with Nessa much at all lately, now that I think about it. I shook the thought from my head and went to look at a mirror. I held a burgundy and black leathery two part in front of me and smiled. I let the smile fade a little bit as I realized I was pretty much picking out my funeral outfit, metaphorically of course. I was picking out the outfit for the day my Beacon Hill's memory will die. I brought my outfit and had Lydia drive me home. Even though I had a great time I still seemed upset. I thanked her for everything and smiled at her as I stepped out of her car. I stood in my driveway and waved her goodbye as she drove away from my house and back to her own.

Later that evening I decided to lay on my roof like old times. I stared up and the nearly full moon. The stars seemed to shine brighter tonight then ever. I stared at them and heard the front door open and slam shut. I looked down to see my parents car sitting in the driveway. I slowly walked down the steps and listened to them yell. They always seemed to be arguing now. I sighed and walked down.

"HEY!" I yelled and they both stopped to look at me. I just shook my head. "We can't do this, we can't argue." I whispered. "After we moved you guys are the only thing I have left. There isn't going to be Liam, or Lydia, or Nessa. There wont be anything for me too remember Andrew from, nothing. Everything I have ever cared about will be gone. So pull yourself together and start becoming a God Damn parent!" I yelled, tears escaping my eyes. They stared at me with shook and fear. My dad moved forward and hugged me tighter then I ever remember him doing. My mom remained there, speechless. I cried harder and for the first time my dad understood. He whispered apologizes and even let a few tears out himself. I sighed and smiled a little bit. I told them I needed some air and grabbed my jacket. I walked around the neighborhood, head held low and hands shoved in my pockets. I thought of the amazingly accurate lyrics of Blink-182's song I Miss You. Nothing speaks to me the way music does. I guess that is how I found beauty in this uncontrollable horrible world. It was dark and cold outside and yet I loved it. I loved the way the breeze leaves a chilling shiver down your spine and how goosebumps change the texture of your skin when you hear even the slightest of noise. I listened to the winds screeching sound as it blew through the empty air. I turned to see a trouble boy standing alone on the street corner as if he was waiting for me, and he was.

"Addison." He said and stared at me. His blue eyes shined from the moonlights glow. I gave him a cold stare and just stood there. I looked away and when I looked back he was gone. My mind was playing gentle, yet harmful tricks on me, and it continued to happen throughout the night. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked at the pictures that made my head spin. The ones that reminded me of all the crazy, stupid, amazing memories that I would change for anything. They we're part of me, Beacon Hills is a part of me. Now I saw my favorite picture of me and Liam. Lydia had taken my phone when we were all together, just sitting around a fire. Liam and I were singing Last Hope by Paramore while I strummed on the guitar. I remember him messing up the lyrics, making me stop to look at him and laugh. Lydia had taken the picture at the perfect time. My face was mid-laugh and the way I was looking at Liam showed all my feeling towards him. I smiled as I realized I was now at my house again. I let out a small sigh, keeping the smile on my face though. I walked into my house and took a seat in between my parents and cuddled closer. I watched as they turned the channel to MTV and we just laid there together. After realizing I should go to bed, I said goodnight and walked up the old staircase. My room was a mess but I managed to find my AUX cord and plugged it into my stereo. I plugged the other end into my phone and searched though my music. I lightly tapped the screen and listened to the sound of guitar and Hayley Williams's voice. I changed into some pajamas and feel asleep to the words I choice to start living by.

I don't even know myself at all, I thought I would be happy by now, The more I try to push it, I realize – gotta let go of control.

Gotta let it happen. Gotta let it happen, Gotta let it happen, So let it happen.

It's just a spark, But it's enough to keep me going, And when it's dark out, no one's around, It keeps glowing.

Every night I try my best to dream, Tomorrow makes it better, Then I wake up to the cold reality, And not a thing is changed.

But it will happen, Gotta let it happen, Gotta let it happen, Gotta let it happen.

It's just a spark, But it's enough to keep me going, And when it's dark out, no one's around, It keeps glowing. It's just a spark, But it's enough to keep me going, And when it's dark out, no one's around, It keeps glowing.

And the salt in my wounds isn't burning anymore than it used to, It's not that I don't feel the pain, it's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore, And the blood in these veins isn't pumping any less than it ever has, And that's the hope I have, the only thing I know that's keeping me alive.

I stared at my ceiling in deep thought. That's what's wrong, I'm not letting life take it's path. I have to let go and let it happen.....

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Hey guys! Sorry for the lack of updates but with school, tennis, and the fact my dog died this week, I haven't had much time! I love you all and there is only 3 chapters left! Yay! Anyways this chapter is a little bit shorter but oh well! Sorry if it's awful!

~S