Being Shane Dawson's Daughter

Chapter 19 I'm Sorry

Mention of suicide it's a sad chapter
Shane's P.O.V.
I held (y/n) in my arms as she cried. I ran my fingers through her hair to calm her down. I feel so bad for doing this but I don't know what else to do. It's for the best but I know she's upset. This household holds so many memories. So many of them. It breaks my heart to see my daughter crying,"I'm sorry sweetheart...I really am but... I think it's best to let the house go..."I say trying to figure out the right words to say to not make her more upset. She shook her head," We can stay her and forget about the new house.." she says trying to convince me to stay here. But we have to let the house go. She lets go of me and looks at me with red puffy eyes,"Dad...we don't have to leave.." she sniffs I shook my head my eyes slightly watering,"We can't...I'm sorry..." I say she shook her head at me and walked out the room going somewhere else. I sighed not knowing what to do,"Daddy?" I look over and see Kat she walked over to me and gave me a hug,"What's wrong?" She asks I shake my head.
"Nothing Kat just your sister and I were talking.." I reply she nodded and held onto me tighter. What am I going to do? I thought.~...~
I was driving my car and decided to have (y/n) ride with me. While Kat went with Ryland. (Y/n) hadn't said anything to me I know she's mad and upset,"Maybe once the house is finished you can invite Caleb." I say quickly glancing over at her she just rolled her eyes and looked out the window angrily. I sighed,"I don't know what you want from me.." I say a bit disappointed. I can't believe she's acting this way hopefully over time she gets over it. I remember when she was small and got mad at me I would just simply make jokes or give her ice cream. It always seemed to work but I know she's older now.
"Why are you mad at me?" I asked while looking at her as she sat across from me on the floor. Where a board game was placed in front of us which was candy land. Her arms were crossed and she sent me a glare.
"Because you cheated dad." (Y/n) said with a mad look on her face I slightly laughed,"Don't laugh at me.." she mumbled upset.
"Okay. I didn't mean to." I say while smiling.
"Rematch!" She says while setting the game back up.
"Sweetie this is going to be our tenth time playing it." I say with a small chuckle. She shrugged,"Come on let's do something else." I suggest she finally gave in once I finally convinced her to stop playing,"Want some ice cream?" I ask she looked at me with a big smile on her face. She nodded and got up and ran towards the kitchen. I laugh and follow her.
I wish she was younger again. She's growing up to fast it's like yesterday she was always by my side giving me hugs. Now she has a boyfriend and she's busy with school she has other interests now. I just sigh and keep driving not knowing what else to say or do. When suddenly an idea popped into my head I purposely made a wrong turn and started driving to an ice cream shop. I saw (y/n) from the corner of my eye sit up and look around confused,"Dad.? Where are you going?" She asks
"Text Ryland that we might be a bit late." I say she simply just gives me a puzzled look but does what I say~...~
We got our ice cream and sat at a table,"Why did you bring me here?" She asked.
"This is the only way I thought I could make you feel better." I say,"I know your mad at me but.. what I'm doing is for us and I need you to understand that." I continue,"Things aren't always going to stay the same. I need you to know that I know you've gone through so much change as a child and even now your going through a lot. I get it I really do. But there are just some things you just can't change." I finish my daughter is strong I know she is. I know she's been through a lot after her friend Emily passed away that's when her fear of change happened. I remember like it happened yesterday.
"We just wanted to let you know." Emily's mom on the other line said while her voice broke. Emily was like another daughter to me I knew what she went through.
"Thank you I'll let (y/n) know.."I say
"Thank you Shane.. she wanted me to tell you that she saw you as a father figure... and that she loved you.." her mom cried I let tears fall from my eyes.
"Thank you.." after that we hung up (y/n) was in her room. I went upstairs and knocked on her door,"Come in!" She yells from the other side. I open the door (y/n)'s face changed when she saw my tears,"Dad wh-what's wrong?" She asks worriedly I sit on her bed next to her,"There's something I have to tell you.." I say my voice cracking a bit. She sat up and started to listen,"Em-Emily she's....she's gone..." I say (y/n) shook her head,"No..No she didn't...How?" She asked I bit my bottom lip,"She umm she took her own life last night..." I say slowly (y/n) shook her head,"No she didn't...She would've told me.. this is all a lie.. it's a prank.. you can tell me dad I won't be mad at you. I know it's a prank!" She says in denial I hold her closely to me as she sobbed,"This is all a lie.." she sobbed I let her scream and cry as much as she needed to,"This is all my fault.." she started blaming herself I shook my head,"It's no ones fault .." I say.
"It is I could've saved her!" She yelled while crying I just held her tighter and closer. I comforted her as much as I could.
After that happened she was in denial for a year still texting her phone even though she wouldn't get a response. She even called her and she even "talked" to her. She was in so much pain she didn't want to let her go."I know I can't be upset about this or at you." She says breaking me out of the memory I was remembering. I looked at her with a sympathetic look,"I'm sorry." She says
"It's okay."

Heyyy shippers I know it's a bit sad but I wanted to give you guys a bit more of your backstory. Sooo yeah next week I'll be posting the Shane and Squad preferences. So if you want to check that out feel free. But anyyywayyys I love you guys very much and remember to take care of yourself I'll see you guys soon byyye 😘😘😘