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Chapter 22

"Well it doesn't take Einstein to figure that out Taehyung," I say.

"Jungkook-"

"What, what could it possibly be?! You told me! You used me for sex! I get it! No need to rub it in!"

"Jungkook! I-I-I...I fucking lied!"

"Yeah, sure...just like how you bullied me for calling you gay? Was that a lie too?"

"Jungkook I lied, I didn't use you," Taehyung starts crying harder,"please believe me! I-I did it because I didn't want to hurt you."

"How did that work out? How can I believe you now?! What do you mean you didn't want to hurt me?!"

Taehyung took a deep breath and awkwardly laughed while wiping his face, "well I thought if I could," he laughs again, "you know, shake you off now...I wouldn't hurt you later on? I know dumb right but...after the sex you know...I didn't want you to like me cuz...you. I don't think I deserve to be anything even close to a boyfriend to you...I've hurt you too much kook... I'll never be the boyfriend I want to be...so I didn't know the right way to go about it, but I think I've realized that, I might love you...and I'm scared..."

After Taehyung says those words to me everything goes silent but one voice in my head. My tears stop.

The faint voice of what I can remember from my father, reading words in my head

I love you so much that I don't know if I should be able to be your father. I'll never be able to be the father I want to be.

Then Taehyungs crisp voice, fresh in my mind.

I don't think I deserve to be anything even close to a boyfriend to you...I've hurt you too much look... I'll never be the boyfriend I want to be.

Again and again. Again and again. Until I can barely remember my fathers voice and it's replaced by Taehyungs.

I clench my fist into the hospital blankets.

"Why-...why does no one ever think...of how I feel first Taehyung...did you ever stop to think I may have started to love you too?"

"Jungkook-"

"Everyone is always making decisions fr me and I'm sick of it! I never have a say!" All the pain of the last 6 years come out through the form of tears and sobs. I dig my face into my blankets trying to stop the tears but there is no use.

"Please Jungkook...forgive me... I don't wanna lose you again. I want to hug you tight when your sad and calm you down when your mad. I want to make memories with you. I messed up, so, so," Taehyung breathes out, "bad, but this time, I promise that I won't hurt you, when your hurt, I'm hurt. When you live, I live. When you die, I die...please

"H-how can you keep the promise Taehyung. How do I know you won't leave too? How do I know your serious," I ask into the blankets still trying to calm down.

"Well...I don't know but...isn't that life...unpredictable?"

I wiped my face, and chuckled just a little, "your such a fucker."

I lift my head to smile a little and Taehyung wipes the upcoming tears from my eyes.

"I'm sorry Jungkook," Taehyung starts crying again.

"I...forgive you okay," I laugh and wipe his tears again and pull him into a hug.

Maybe, I can hold on to the past a little less and into the future a little more I think while holding onto Taehyung. Maybe this wound isn't healed but, it just needs a little ointment and it'll eventually heal over time...

End