One Month (Camren FanFic)

Day 5

Day 5

Camila's POV:

When I said there's nothing like waking up to a Lauren Jauregui text, I had definitely forgotten what it's like waking up next to Lauren Jauregui.

I honestly don't even know how that happened.

It was nothing sexual though. We watched the stupid horror film Lauren picked, and then we started talking about life and our future and everything that had happened during our year of separation.

I told her about Austin, and how much I hated my new sound, but I obviously didn't mention a single thing about how strongly I still felt towards her. Lauren talked to me about Luis, and college, and her plans for the wedding. Seeing her eyes sparkle like that whenever she talks about her life makes it impossible to say something about how I'm feeling. If I mention the slightest thing about the way I feel, I would irrevocably ruin Lauren's life and I'd never forgive myself for doing such thing. Especially because it would be a completely selfish act considering she's clearly in love with someone else.

It felt good though, I'm not gonna lie. Talking to her again made me remember there was a reason I had fallen for her in the first place. She's so deep, and understanding. I honestly can't name a single person I'd rather ask for advice than Lauren, which is actually kind of ironic because she's the only person who I can't talk to about the inner chaos I'm experimenting, but just knowing that I can come up to her with anything else is extremely reassuring.

And I guess then we just fell asleep. I could feel her tired body against mine slowly drifting away, and the previous tight grip around my waist turned into a loose arm resting peacefully over my stomach. I know should've gone home or moved to her couch, but the sense of familiarity was way too endearing. I couldn't help but remember about those nights when we were in The X Factor and we just lay together and talked until one of us fell asleep. Most of the times Lauren had been the one to close her eyes first, and I swear I could've just watched her forever. Everything about her was perfect, and I wanted to take in every single detail in case I wouldn't get the chance to have her that close again. And for more than a year, those vanishing memories were the only thing that I had.

I could never forget about her eyes though. After knowing Lauren for more than three years, her eyes still take my breath away. The way the unusual shade of green turns into a relaxing light blue when she's tired or even gray when she's sad has never ceased to amaze me.

The first rays of sun inevitably hit my face, forcing me to open my eyes. At first it took me a couple of seconds to recognize the unfamiliar setting, but then I realized Lauren was still sleeping peacefully next to me, her arm draped lazily over my waist, and everything made sense.

The amazing day we had spent together hadn't been a dream. She was actually lying next to me, she was real, but then reality sunk in and I remembered I shouldn't have slept there in the first place. Being this dangerously close to her was going to end up draining me emotionally, I knew that, but I couldn't stay away from her either.

I slowly moved her arm away from my body and left it carefully on the bed. I admired her face one last time before deciding to go home. As much as I wanted to stay cuddling with her for the rest of eternity, I had to do what was right. I couldn't keep behaving like a child, she was going to marry someone else really soon and no matter what I did, that wasn't going to change. I had to accept that and move on with my life, of course that's easier said than done.

I got up as quietly as possible and planted a soft kiss on Lauren's forehead before walking towards the door. I had to go home before she woke up and suggested us to have breakfast together or something. I had to keep my distance for a while before I did something stupid again. If I kept spending so much time with her, hiding my feelings would become an impossible task and another confession can't happen.