My Israel

Crisis of Faith

 I was ordained a high priest a couple years before all this took place. I was serving as a Stake Technology Specialist for over a decade and as such was considered to be in the Stake Presidency as the calling was officially an Assistant Stake Clerk. I do not say this to boast, but to simply highlight, I was aware of the "rules" and I knew that because some of my beliefs were in conflict with the doctrines of the church, I was technically in apostasy. I fully expected to eventually be brought before a disciplinary council and likely excommunicated. I was not silent about this prospect and when people would talk to me about my beliefs, I would explain what I believe and would express that my beliefs would likely cost me my membership. While this was disheartening, I decided I could not deny the truth and I would act according to the truth I had received. I continued in this manner for some time.

After a few months, I resigned from my calling as a Stake Technology Specialist. We were currently having some family difficulties that required my full attention. The current Stake President had told me when he was first called to let him know when I needed to be released as I had served more than a decade in this calling. I used my family difficulties as the impetus, at the urging of my wife, to ask to be released. I agreed to continue on a consultant basis as long as needed to aid in the transition. This didn't last long...

During this time that I was struggling with my testimony and faith I discovered my wife had been struggling for quite some time with her faith and she had been just "going through the motions" for a long time unbeknownst to me. Yehovah is truly in charge. Had I not had my crisis of faith I would never had known of my wife's struggles. On the positive side, her struggles ended up being a great support to me as we were united in our way forward.