My Israel

It's Hard to Say Goodbye

 My wife and I left these meetings with great sorrow. The Church we had come to love for so long turned out not to be what we thought it was. Instead of being treated as the lost sheep that had wandered from the flock, that according to the Savior, the shepherd should leave the ninety and nine to seek after the sheep to return them to the flock, we were being cast aside as a thing of dross. The days and weeks that followed continued to teach us much about what the Church was and was not, as well as who our real friends were and who were not. I was VERY surprised that at no time, did anyone offer to listen to my concerns, doubts and questions in an attempt to help me resolve them and be able to return to fellowship in the church. A few members, visited once or twice shortly after we stopped attending (we did not return to church after these interviews, except on a few social occasions and when my daughter comes to visit as she is still active in the church) but there were only two friends that continued to check on us and only one that remains a close friend to this day. In desperation I even wrote a letter to the President of the Church and to date have received no response.

It is not easy leaving a church that had been an integral part of your life, in so many ways. One thing I will say about members of the church, they are very dedicated to their religion and as a result, the church is a lifestyle not just a religion. On the other hand, there was actually some relief felt as we left. I knew the Sabbath was from sunset Friday to sunset Saturday, I was beginning to really feel I was not following the will of Yehovah by worshiping on Sunday. This ended. In fact, the Sabbath day has become so much more of a delight to me. I no longer am required to give up three hours to church meetings on the Sabbath. In fact, one of the purposes of the Sabbath is that it is a day of rest. Now, I don't believe the only thing you should do on the Sabbath is sleep in and be lazy, but there is something liberating about not being bound down by the rules and regulations placed on your shoulders by religion. I equate this to the way the Savior Himself dealt with the religious authorities of His time. He followed the Torah perfectly, but he would, it seems, intentionally violate the man-made rules of the religious leaders of the day. He acknowledged that these man-made rules were a burden upon the shoulders of the people and were unnecessary. He exclaimed, my yoke is easy and my burden is light. When I was active in the Church, sometimes I would dread Sundays and all the requirements placed upon me. Now, I am sorrowful when sunset approaches on Saturday evenings. I truly wish the Sabbath day was longer than 24 hours, it is truly a delight to me.

One difficult part of separating myself from the church is the loss of the social aspect it provided. I have attended the seventh day Adventist church along with a local messianic congregation, but neither aligned with my new understanding of the gospel. While I do sporadically visit them from time to time, I am content with my current approach to Sabbath day observance. I do follow two on-line ministries and take time to listen to some of their teachings. I also use this time to study Biblical Hebrew as well as the scriptures themselves. I also enjoy listening to uplifting music. The only thing that I would change is I have a desire to join with other likeminded believers during the feasts and festivals of Yehovah. Fortunately, one of the ministries I follow is headquartered in Charlotte, North Carolina and my daughter and her family recently moved there. I don't believe this was by accident. I have attended one event there so far and look forward to many more in the future.

When I was an active member of the church I thought I was rather open minded. I did not actively seek out anti-mormon literature, but I was not afraid of alternate opinions. This again stemmed from my belief that we should seek out truth wherever it may be found. There are many in the church that are very dogmatic and will not even entertain the thought there could be more truth to be found outside the confines of the church hierarchy. As we moved away from the church it opened up the opportunity for me to explore what others leaving the church had to say. I must say this endeavor is one of the main reasons I decided to write this story. I was saddened at the misinformation that was perpetuated by former members of the church. These people had been active members of the church and knew the doctrines and policies of the church. However, many of them would mischaracterize or outright lie about many of these issues. I don't know if their motivation was to sensationalize their experiences to sell more books or what, but I found it very disturbing. I found few that carefully outlined the correct doctrines of the church and contrasted them with their own new found faith. This is what motivated me to tell my story. I wanted to let people in the church know it is OK to have questions, it is OK to look into the history and doctrines of the church. It is OK to question if the church truly is without fault.