Not Really There | FILLIE

six - long way down

song - Long Way Down by Tom Odell 

~"It's a long way down
You know it's a long way down
  Feels like a long way down
 Love it feels like a long way down
   So honey don't leave, don't leave,
 Please don't leave me now"~

Finn had stayed awake for as long as he could, watching Millie as she hummed under her breath. She started to hum softly, trying to help him fall asleep, oblivious to the fact that he just wanted to watch her. Now that he had laid eyes on her, it was hard to look away, not just because of how pretty she was, but because of how impossible the entire situation was. Finn had never believed in angels, ghosts or anything that was out of the ordinary, but here he was watching her help him fall asleep, almost as real as he was. 

His eyes widened with confusion when she suddenly faded away into nothing again. He could no longer see her caramel curls and her long eyelashes, so thick and pretty that they were more like wings. He panicked, feeling the air around him as if hoping that he would graze her hand again, but he felt nothing. After minutes of worry and confusion, thinking that she had disappeared for good, he was too tired to keep his eyes open. His alarm woke up him up in the early hours of the morning, making him hold his head as he winced. 

"You're not a morning person, are you?" a soft laugh came from behind him. 

Finn's eyes snapped open, a sigh of relief escaping him when he saw her sitting on the floor comfortably. She was wearing her usual jeans and jumper, a soft smile on her face as she stared at his messy bed hair and flushed cheeks. Her chin rested on her hand, her eyes gleaming with interest as she watched him, as if she wasn't shy about how intrigued she was by him. 

"You're here?" he breathed. 

Millie waved a hand in his face with a sarcastic smile. "I think so, why?"

Finn looked down, a small frown on his face. "You disappeared last night, once you fell asleep...like you go away when it's nighttime. I thought you were gone for good, but...I'm glad you are still here."

Her smile faded and her eyebrows furrowed. "I disappeared?"

He nodded reluctantly, hating her worried expression, the thoughts swimming around her head like dark poison. She wondered if she was fading away, as if her time was up for good and she would disappear completely one day, the thoughts creating a feeling of dread in her stomach. She had gotten so used to seeing Finn and having control over what she could do, but she didn't even realize that instead of falling asleep, she faded completely. Finn noticed her sad expression and looked into her eyes reassuringly, his dark eyes filled with care. 

"Hey, we will work it out. I promise, okay? I will go to school and see if I can find out anything...maybe you used to go to my school? Why else would you be stuck with me?" he tried. 

She smiled sadly. "I wish that I could go with you."

Finn shrugged. "Why don't you try?"

"I told you-"

"I know..." he cut her off suddenly in a determined voice, "but I couldn't see you or even hear you a couple of days ago, and now I can. I didn't even know that you were here watching over me, maybe you can follow me out of the house now...It's worth trying at least."

Millie hesitantly nodded, biting her lip gently. 

"Don't be scared" he spoke softly, "If it doesn't work then I will still try to find out as much as I can, okay?"

"O-Okay" she whispered shakily. 

Millie waited with nervous legs, her knees bouncing up and down while Finn got changed in his bathroom. He came out in his one of his usual band t-shirts and jeans, his curls messy yet somehow perfectly in place. It made her smile but part of her was sad, wishing that she could remember what she used to wear and what bands that she used to like, whether she preferred The Beatles or Michael Jackson. She wished that she knew who she used to be, wondering how she was ever going to have a bond with anyone if she couldn't even bond with herself.