Not Really There | FILLIE

twenty - already gone

song - Already Gone by Sleeping At Last

~"I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
But someone's gotta go, And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone"~

When she opened her eyes again, all that was above her was a bright shining light. It was light and almost peaceful, the air around her calm and silent as if there were no birds or creatures to make any noise. The atmosphere was tranquil but despite how calm she could have felt, it was the first time that she had opened her eyes without Finn and it hurt like hell. The realization hit her in an instant, the look on his eyes as she faded away, flying away from the room like invisible arms were pulling her upwards into oblivion. But when she opened her eyes expecting to see him, she remembered why she was alone. 

A calm voice broke her thoughts. "Hey, you're okay."

Millie shot up instantly, her heart beating furiously. She frowned, placing a hand on her chest at the sound in her head, her usual dormant heart being lit up with surprise, as if she was real. Her eyes went to the figure behind her, a woman with kind eyes and an even kinder smile. Her clothes were white and plain, a creepily peaceful aura around her as she sat beside Millie, resting her hand on her arm to keep her from moving too quickly. The woman had blonde locks, eyes a pale blue and Millie immediately frowned at the angelic glow that she gave off. The woman's eyes twinkled with something unknown and she spoke in a gentle voice, slow and soft as if she was trying to calm the girl down in front of her. 

"I'm Charmeine."

Millie's eyebrows furrowed. "The angel of harmony?"

The woman made a face. "Yeah, but you can call me Char. It is less of a mouthful and nobody ever knows how to pronounce my name anyway, you know?"

"Where am I?" she rubbed her head. 

Millie tried to strain to remember how she got from here to there, where the invisible had taken her but it was as if there was a block in her memory. It was a strange feeling and she shuddered, looking at the woman beside her for guidance. She should have been more freaked out but with what she was, there was no longer a limit on what her mind believed. There must have been several other beings out there in the universe, things that people would never even dream of being possible, and it made Millie sad to think that they may have been as lonely as her. Charmeine looked peaceful enough, but there was a small amount of healing underneath her eyes that let Millie know that she had been through pain in order to fix it. 

"I don't really like the word afterlife" Charmeine shrugged. "But I guess that is it."

"Afterlife?"

"Your soul wasn't ready after you died, most people who have a traumatic passing have a lot of weight on their souls. The universe works in strange ways and nobody knows why you end up in certain places, but the weight has been lifted now. The afterlife is the place where the spirits roam, where the souls can be free. You are free, Millie."

Her eyes lit up with hope. "Finn?"

Charmeine's smile turned sympathetic and Millie's heart deflated like a balloon inside of her chest, a deep sadness washing over her. 

Part of her had started to stupidly believe that things could work out, like the universe could change its mind and give them some more time. She had expected to be given sympathy, for her and Finn to be able to roam the free lands together, happier together than alone. But with the sympathy in the angel's eyes and all of the quiet space around her, she instantly knew that the world did not always supply miracles. The woman waved a hand in the air, an image appearing before them as if through an invisible window, the familiar sight making Millie perk up instantly. Finn's room was empty but as she looked closer, Charmeine gently placed something that was waiting on the desk into Millie's hand, a piece of paper with a drawing of a flower attached. It was similar to one of the flowers that she had tried to draw herself, but the lines were wobbly and it was messy, letting her know that he was the one who had drawn it for her. Her chin wobbled when she saw her name written on the front of the letter.