Not Really There | FILLIE

eleven - should've been us

song - Should've Been Us by Travis Scott

~"Back and forth like a tug of war
What's it all for, do I want it back
I still got a little flame for ya
Even though you drove me mad
Now and then, I pretend
That it's you when I close my eyes
You got yours, I got mine
But I wonder where you are tonight"~

Millie's chin wobbled as soon as Finn left, slamming the door behind him as if he wanted to get rid of the connection that they had. She could physically feel the ache in her heart, as if the more distance that he put between them caused her more pain until she could barely stand it. She thought that despite what was going on between them, that they were connected, whether it was through her feelings for him or if it was by the physical pull that she had towards him. The Japanese believe that soulmates are connected by a red thread of fate that is tied around their little fingers by the Gods, a string that connects them no matter what. The thread can bend and twist, but it will never break. But as Finn slammed the door and left the house, it felt like the thread between them had been severed completely. 

Finn had always been there for her, like her happiness was important to him. Every time that he held her and begged her to let him help, it seemed as if she really did mean a lot to him instead of being a burden that he had to carry. But now she felt as if she was just a bother, like a weight pulling him down as he tried to live his life freely. 

When Finn returned, she shot up to greet him, her lips ready to release hundreds of apologies and beg him to reconsider his decision. She wanted to tell him that as much as she cared for him and felt safe in his company, she needed to do this for herself. 

But when he opened the door, he wasn't alone. 

Sadie's beautiful red hair swished from between her shoulder blades held up in a long ponytail with a simple yellow bow. She smiled at Finn's room as she scanned the surroundings, her eyes completely unaware of the brunette in the corner of the room that was glaring at Finn. She really was stunning, with a button nose and a striking sweet smile, a smile that screamed real kindness instead of a facade like everybody else seemed to put up. She looked at Finn like he was something special, like he was almost a hero that was spending his time rescuing her as he rambled on about cupcake recipes and listened to her talk enthusiastically. Millie felt her heart pound with a strange ache, her face falling as she looked between the pair. It was a sweet moment, a moment which would have made her smile if it was any random stranger. 

But it should have been her with him. 

"Really?" Millie asked quietly, "You took my words seriously, didn't you?" 

Finn ignored her, not even daring to glance in her direction as if he couldn't see her anymore. But she could see his shoulders stiffening when she spoke up, letting her know that he could still hear her as clear as ever. He invited Sadie to sit down, showing her his textbook as he explained a theory to her about microorganisms. Sadie listened with soft eyes, wide and curious as his eyes focused on the textbook, trying to distract himself from the girl that he didn't want to deal with. The girl who was dealing with a broken heart beside them. 

"Tell her to leave" Millie begged pathetically, placing her hand over his. "Please, make her leave because I hate seeing you with her."

His eyes drooped down for a moment but not long enough for Sadie to notice, before he snatched his hand away from the ghostly touch, sliding closer to the redhead instead. Millie choked on a sob, retiring to the corner of the room where she decided to watch them, hoping that he could see how much he was hurting her. 

"You're so smart, you know that?" Sadie smiled gently, "I have always thought that you were really smart."

"Thanks, I am glad I can help you" Finn smiled back at her but it was strained.