Stokeley
It's been about three days since that thing with Jahseh at the studio. Kevin signed him yesterday so he's been in his room writing I guess. He told me he's moving in two weeks cause he already found a place and he's waiting for them to redo the floors cause they were ugly. I Lowkey don't want him to move cause I get lonely.
Other than telling me he was moving, he hasn't said anything To me. I wish he would just hear me out. Just let me explain. Cause I didn't mean to hurt his feelings.
"Jah!" I yelled from the kitchen. I need to know if he's going to eat so I know how much to cook.
After a few minutes he slowly walked into the kitchen.
"Hmm?" He said as he looked at the floor.
"Are you gonna eat?" I asked.
He shook his head no.
"You haven't ate all day or yesterday either you have to eat." I sighed as I pulled some hamburger meat out the freezer.
"I don't have to do anything. And I don't know why you care if I eat or not if I'm so disgusting." He glared at me.
"Jah you know that's not what I meant," I sighed. I took out the spaghetti and ran some water in a pot.
"No I don't," He chuckled. "Don't worry I'll be gone by the end of the month. And that's only cause all the hotels are booked for some comic book thing."
"You don't even have to move out," I told him.
"I do," he said. "I don't want to live with no one, I'd rather be alone."
"But you don't have to be," I looked at him.
"You can't make someone feel loved if they feel alone inside. Stop trying to fix me, you can't fix what's broken," he shook his head.
"Maybe I want to try," I said I'm honestly.
"No one can do that," he said.
"I can if you let me." I put the water on the stove to boil. I walked to the fridge and opened it to get bell peppers and onions.
"You can't help me the ways I need to be helped," he said.
Maybe I can.
"And how do you need to be helped?" I asked and I pulled an onion and two bell peppers out the fridge. I took a knife out the knife holder. "Maybe I can do more than you think."
"Yeah I doubt you can give me what I want," he chuckled. I gave him a look as I grabbed a cutting bored from a cabinet.
"And what do you want?"
"Someone to love me the way I love them. Someone who won't give me half ass energy and vibes. A best friend even. I never really had friends. I mean I have a few but they probably think I ran away or something."'he shrugged.
"And you want a relationship or.." I asked.
"No, I'm not trynna do all that right now. I'm already stressed out Enough. I just want someone to lean on. " he sighed. "And I want you to leave me alone."
"Why can't I be your friend?"
"I don't want to be friends with someone who thinks I'm disgusting," he shrugged.
We still on this?
"Jah that's not what I meant and you know it." I said as I put the knife down and looked at him.
He shrugged and sat down on the counter a few feet away from me.
"You said what you said and whether you meant to or not that's what you implied." He said.
"You don't have to cook for me I'm not hungry." He said.
"I didn't ask if you were hungry," I said. The knife i was using was dull as hell so I threw it in the sink and went to grab another one but they were on the counter behind Jahseh so I had to reach behind him. I felt him tense up when i accidentally touched his arm.
"Sorry," He said quietly. I looked at him and my mouth watered. He's adorable. I still can't figure out why his dad would want to hurt him.
"No it's okay," I said lowly as we made eye contact. "Stop apologizing for everything," I told him as our eyes locked.
"Okay," He said quietly. He took his lip into his mouth and bit it slowly. And it was then I realized I was standing between his legs.
"You're so beautiful you know that?" I told him.
"I'm a boy," he said.
"Just take the compliment," I smirked. I looked down at his lips that he bit again and I bit my own.
"So beautiful," I mumbled before connecting our lips again. What was a peck, turned into a heated kiss when he kissed me back.
I licked his bottom lip, asking for entrance but he declined. I rubbed his thighs with my hands. Damn his thighs. He opened his mouth, allowing me in once again.
I felt myself start to grow hard as I reached for Jahseh's shirt tugging it up. He broke the kiss and stopped me. "No no no we can't do that." He said quickly. He moved off the counter and ran out the kitchen. Man.
"Wassup fat ass." Kevin said as he walked into the kitchen about thirty seconds later.
You have no idea what you just almost walked in on.
"Uh nothing just uh cooking some uh dinner," I mumbled.
"Why you on hard?" He asked.
"Why you keep being gay? Stop looking at my dick bitch," I yelled at him.
"Imma go to the store," Jahseh mumbled as he walked past me and out the front door. How he going to the store if he ain't got no car.
"How you finna get there?" I asked him as I followed him outside.
"I have a ride," he said.
"Who?"
"Jared," he shrugged. Oh my cousin. Mr. Higgins.
"Be safe," I said and walked back inside.
"So he still mad at you?" Kevin asked when I started to chop the bell peppers.
"I think so," I sighed. "He barely said anything to me until today and that's only cause I asked him if he was hungry."
"You're an asshole," Kevin shook his head.
