Question: Should I make Jah a little?
Question: should I bring Gazzy and Deigo into the book?
Question: Should jahs mom pop up and not be dead?
30 votes, 30 comments for update.
Jahseh
One month later
I sat up in my bed and flipping through my channels. I'm so anxious that I can't sleep. I go on tour tomorrow with Stokeley. It's called the "frenemies" tour. We are going across the United States. I guess we our first stop with be San Deigo? I don't know. (Guys I might make this random like they might go from New York to Arizona, just work with me.)
I looked at my fully charged phone and it said it was currently 5 am. I turned my tv off and climbed out of bed. I slipped on my slides and then threw a hoodie on over my naked chest.
I grabbed my suitcase and my phone small backpack with my charger and laptop and things like that. I walked it to my front door and then walked into the kitchen. I grabbed another backpack full of snacks and then opened my front door to leave. I have to be on the bus by six. When I opened my front door I was met by Dean.
"Jah-" he started.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"I- I miss you.." he frowned and looked at the ground.
"Dean I have to go imma be lat-"
"For your tour I know I bought a ticket for the one in San Deigo.." he sighed.
"Dean stop. Don't go to my concert. You're just making it harder on yourself. You need to move o-"
"Hey are you re-" Stokeley stopped in his tracks when he saw dean.
"Oh sorry-" dean shook his head.
"What is he doing here?" Stokeley frowned at me.
"I was just leaving and when I opened the door he was here," I explained.
" I'm sorry, I see you've moved on.. I'll leave you alone," dean frowned and walked away.
I shook my head and sighed before locking my door and following Stokeley to his car. I put my bags in the trunk and then I got in the car with him. He was starring out the dashboard window deep in thought. He looked mad. But I didn't do anything so I don't know what I did.
"What's wrong?" I rubbed my fingers over his hands that rested on his lap. He snatched them away and looked out the window.
"What did I do?" I asked.
"You still fuckin with him?" He asked.
My eyes went wide, "no."
"Are you sure cause it sure the fuck seems like it?" He gripped the steering wheel.
"No I'm not I swear," I reached to touch his hands again but he snatched them away.
"Don't touch me and quit talking to me," he gave me a pissed look and then pulled away from my house.
I opened my mouth to say something but just decided it was best not to. I buckled my seatbelt and then leaned against the window and watched the sky as my eyes filled with tears. My feelings and reactions are always betraying me.
I quickly wiped away my tears and pulled my hood over my head. I didn't even do anything.
And he won't listen.
On the tour bus:
I decided to invite Jared on tour with us so I'd have a friend so right now him and I sat on my bed watching nurato while we ate snacks from my backpack. Stokeley sat in the bed across from us on his phone. Every now and then he'd glare at me and I'd pretend not to notice and pinch my thigh to fight away the tears that threatened to leave my eyes.
"So have you talked to dean?" Jared asked out of nowhere.
"There's no reason for me to," I said more to Stokeley.
"He called me last night, asked me about you." Jared chuckled.
"Don't tell him nothing he needs to move on," I rolled my eyes.
"Why'd you guys break up anyways?" Jared asked again.
"What with all the questions," I snapped and walked out the back room and into the front of the bus. "Michael how far to our next stop?" I asked the driver.
"About twenty minutes," he answered.
"Okay thanks," I sat on the little table by the mini fridge and hugged my knees.
"What's up?" He asked.
"Feelings," I sighed. "Im conflicted."
"How so?" He asked.
"Well I had someone who I thought I loved. But it really just I hadn't felt love in way too long so when I finally felt it I clung to it you know?" I explained.
"Yeah I know that feeling, but continue," he said as he kept his eyes on the road.
"So pretty much I cheated and the person that I cheated with.. well he doesn't listen to me. Like this morning when I was leaving, my ex just popped up at my door and I hadn't seen or spoken to him since we broke up and so the guy I'm with doesn't let me tell him that happened he just shut me out. And I'm hurting you know," my voice cracked. "I'm alone. I don't have any family. My only family is him and Jared so when he's mad I feel like shit. It takes me back to when I had my old family. They didn't want me either cause I'm a disappointment," I was crying now.
"Maybe you shouldn't be with this guy then. I'd never let anyone make me feel that way. It's not your fault," he said.
"I know, I just... I'm desperate for love. I want someone to love me. Like my mom did," I looked at the floor. " she was the only person who truly cared."
"I'll be here for you to talk anytime," Michael turned to me for only a second and his eyes went back to the road.
"So who's the guy?" He asked.
"I can't tell anyone," I sighed.
"Why not?" He chuckled.
"Cause He hasn't came out and he doesn't want that kind of attention, you know for being gay," I sighed and wiped my eyes.
"You don't deserve to be anyone's secret," he told me.
