Everything you knew

Chapter 18 Violet

"Hey, where is this basketball game you have been promising me?" I throw a basketball at Cole and of course he catches it.
"You don't want to actually do that"

"Just because you think you are going to lose, chicken" I say shoving him playfully.

"Fine you asked for it" Before I know it he has picked me up and shoved me over his shoulder.

"Where are we going? You have a basketball net in your garden" I state, as he carries me to his front door.

"Oh no, if we are going to do this, we are going to do it right"

Ten minutes later we are at the meadow. The basketball court is empty, thank god, because I couldn't bare those ten-year-old pros watching me throw a basketball from a metre away and miss repeatedly.

"Don't look so scared, you wanted to do this" he says after scoring a basket about ten times in a row.

"You need to teach me" I say grabbing the ball off him. I throw at the basket and it hits the rim and bounces back at me. I turn around to Cole and pout.

"Stop it" he said squeezing my cheeks together. "What happened to you will kick my ass?" he puts his hands on his hips dramatically and I roll my eyes at him.

"You should know by now that I am all talk"

He throws the ball at me with no warning and I jump out of the way just in time.

"Hey that nearly hit me!" he shakes his head at me and tries to muffle a laugh and fails.

"Yep you definitely need my help" He picks the ball up and hands it to me. He goes behind me and wraps his arms around me. He takes my hands in his and guides them to where they should be. He does this a few times to show me where to put my hands, how to bend my knees and all that sort of stuff. I finally, do it on my own, after making him do it way too many times, just because I love his touch.

I finally get the basketball in and Cole looks very proud.

"You are a good teacher"

"Thanks, well you are a good student" he kisses me.

"You could teach young kids. You could teach the boys at my home. They would love it and they would love you. I think that could really help them. They need something to be passionate about. I don't want them to live up to the stereotype of foster kids, I want them to dream outside of the walls we live in. We could get one of those little nets for them, it would be so much fun"

"Yeah maybe. I love you"

"I love you" he snatches the ball out of my hand and dribbles the ball around me.

That evening I finally introduced Cole to every at the home. Of course, he is just a friend to Gary and Julie, but everyone seemed to love him which made me love him even more. I didn't realise how charming he was, he did his best to answer everyone's nosy questions and even helped clean up after dinner. He was even amazing with the little kids, who wouldn't stop pestering him to play pirates and kept climbing all over him like a playground, but Cole didn't complain once.

"Sorry, I know it is very loud and busy here, I'm surprised we haven't scared you away, I for sure thought you would have gone running by now"

"It's fine I like it, it's too quiet at my place"

"Yeah well, I can't wait until I get my own place, don't get me wrong I love everyone here, but I can't wait to have a place all too myself. We would never have to worry about who is around or who is going to walk in on us" I wrap my arms around him

"hmmm now that would be nice, but I like it here that you always have someone to talk to, it feels like an actual family here"

"Yeah but we are not, that's the point. We are all just strangers who parents dumped us here or we lost them. This isn't some big old happy family. Most these kids are messed up by what they have been through, me included. Trust me not one of us wants to be here"

"I'm sorry" he takes me in his arm and I rest my head on his shoulder. "I was insensitive and stupid, I wasn't thinking"

"No, it's okay. I'm sorry I shouldn't have snapped. I know you go through stuff at home with your dad and everything too"

"Tell me about him, what was it like before?" I have tried to hold off on the too personal questions, but I want to know more about Cole since we are getting more serious and I think it is healthy to be more open and honest.

"We were close, he took me to my first basketball game, he always played with me. He was just like any other dad, but then he started to drink more when things got more stressful at work and eventually, he lost his job. That's when he lost it, he couldn't go an hour without a drink. From then on, he wasn't a father, the alcohol came before me and Jessica. He never went to basketball games, he never went to our parents evenings or plays and eventually he never went out with us at all. He spent most of his time at home drinking, at a bar or at the liquor store"

"Do you still talk to him or visit him?"

"No, I have never visited him and we rarely speak. He actually phoned me not to long ago, but I don't want him back in our life. I don't want him getting moms hopes up thinking he has changed and that everything will be okay"

"But maybe he has, it sounds like prison saved him. He could be dead right now if he never got locked up. If he is sorry there is no harm seeing him. I know he hasn't been the best dad, but I would do anything to see mine again, so just think about it"

"It's not the same, I can't forgive what he did and trust me you would feel the same"

"Then tell me, explain so I understand"

"Would you just stop!" he says raising his voice at me. "Look I really don't want to talk about this, it's getting late I think I better go home"

"Cole, I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked, it's not my place. I guess were both in a pissy mood tonight. I just wanted to learn more about your life, but I won't bring him up again"

"I'm sorry, it's been a long day. Thank you for inviting me over, I loved it" he wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead. In this moment I realise how safe I feel with him, which is the first time in years. I'm still shocked I let him come here, when I look back to how I use to be. This was my big terrible secret nobody could know about, even though I know some people at school found out, I still pretended as if it wasn't true. When we first met, I even lied to Cole about still having parents, as if this is something to be ashamed of. I never thought I would be able to share the things I have with Cole with anyone. I love how comfortable and confident he makes me. That boy has changed my life for better and I don't know how I will ever thank him.