insomnia | stray kids ff

lvl 10: bitten

Scanning the room, it felt easier and easier to stare at my friends all sad and crying. I notice Seungmin and Jeongin holding onto each other as they weep. I gaze at Changbin and Hyunjin who are both teary-eyed. I look at Sana who is holding onto my hand while in tears. I have accepted it. I just smile softly at everyone. I look over at Chan who has puffed eyes and a red nose.

"Who's going to shoot me?" I say quietly with a cracky voice. The awkward silence becomes even tenser. Chan shakes his head in disbelief. 

"You weren't supposed to die," He lets out a huff as he speaks. 

"I'm sorry, Chan," I whisper and then sigh as I rest my head on the wall of the car. Suddenly, Hyunjin raises his hand. 

"I'll do it." Hyunjin volunteers with a scratchy voice.

 Everyone's eyes fall on him as he tries to avoid contact with me. His watery eyes let a tear streak down his cheek which creates a lump in my throat. I nod and then look at Sana who is still crying. I frown at her sobbing cries and hug her tight.

"You're going to make a change in this world," I whisper to her. "You know how to be one step ahead. You're smart. You're brave. I love you." 

"I love... love you too," Sana chokes on her words.

I hold her for a little longer until I let her go. The rest of the group exits quietly. Chan guides Sana out of the room as she sobs. I sigh and attempt to blink my tears away. I look over at Felix and give him a small smile.

"Thanks," I say. "For shooting her," I joke but Felix doesn't laugh. He gulps down his tears and sighs. "Felix, thank you though," I say softly. "You're one of the sweetest guys I've met here. Please, continue being the strong and kind guy you are," I say. 

Felix nods and gets up slowly. He leaves in silence and closes the door behind him. Only Hyunjin and I left in the room, Hyunjin has his back turned on me. I sigh and look down at the red and purple bite marks on my arm. I look back up at Hyunjin who is pacing the floor.

"Hyunjinnie," I say softly. 

He stops walking from side to side and turns slowly. I see his red and puffy face and sigh. I get up slowly which alarms Hyunjin and begin to walk closer to him. Once I am a few inches from him, I see his glossy eyes. I sigh and cup his face with my hands. I could feel Hyunjin's deep breathing. I smile softly at him as he sniffles. I let go of his face but continue to stare at his eyes.

"You like me?" I question him. 

Hyunjin sighs and then nods slowly. I smile and then lean in close and kiss him softly. Hyunjin kisses me back passionately. I let go of the kiss and bite my lip as I try to stop my smile. I look up to see Hyunjin who still looks scared and upset. 

"Are you sure you can shoot me?" I say softly and look down at the gun. 

Hyunjin pauses in hesitation but then reloads the gun and nods. I step back slowly until I get to the wall of the car. Hyunjin sighs and shakes his arm as he pushes himself to raise his gun at me. 

"Hyunjin," I say and grab his attention. 

I nod at him which allows him to catch his breath. Hyunjin raises the gun slowly and shakily. I hold my breath as I watch him point the gun at me. I let out a breath as I start to feel my hands vibrate in nervousness. 

"I like you too," I blurt out. "Do it," I tell him. 

[i close my eyes and i can't see, 

but it's even scarier that i'm awake now]

A scream.

 I open my eyes immediately and see Hyunjin look over at me with a confused look. We both look at the door and exit together and until we make it to the main railcar and see both doors wide open. We look at each other with wide eyes and see the group fighting off a herd of walkers. 

"They were probably attracted by the gunshot," Hyunjin tells me as he helps me off the train. 

"Why didn't everyone stay inside the train?" I ask as I hold the bite on my forearm.

 Hyunjin looks down at my wound and rips his shirt to put pressure on the bite. He wraps it quickly around my arm.

"We should help them," Hyunjin says and hands me a gun. I look at him with a confused face.

"I don't know how to use one," I say. 

"I'll teach you, c'mon." 

Hyunjin hurries and starts to climb the train until he gets on top of it. He pulls me up carefully. Once we both make it up there and Hyunjin teaches me how to use the gun, we both start to shoot the zombies close to our friends. Minho looks up to see us and nods as he continues fighting. 

"We have to find diesel before more come," I say.

"We should abandon the train," Hyunjin says as he continues shooting. We help clear off all the monsters and Woojin looks up at us and squints.

"Thanks," Woojin says. 

"Why were you guys outside?" Hyunjin asks. 

"Would you have rather been trapped in a train or be able to go find diesel and get this thing going again?" Minho asks. 

"Hana!" I hear my name being screamed and see Sana on the ground. I shush her and then look at Hyunjin. 

"Isn't she supposed to be dead?" Ryujin asks. Hyunjin glares at Ryujin.

"Yeah, but some people needed help outside," Hyunjin says. 

He climbs off the train and helps me off carefully, placing me down on the ground. When I set foot on the ground, the rest of the group looks at me with confused faces except for Sana who hugs me. I let go of Sana's hug and stare at the group.

"What?" I ask.

"Shouldn't you be... weak?" Jisung asks.

"Or a little dead looking?" Minho questions. I look at my hands and notice how healthy they are. I feel my face and its baby fat. I look back at the group and shrug. They all give each other weird looks and suspicious signals.