Before March Comes (Editing)

❄️ Chapter 33 ❄️

A/N

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!! 

It was a lot of fun to write...like all the other chapters. <3

bye ly <3

-xoxo

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Feb's POV

(A little recap in his POV)

I move my lips from her's down to her stomach and plant individual kisses above her belly button.

I can't get her words out of my head. They just kept playing over and over.
"February's almost over..and I won't see you for awhile.."

By "awhile" she means a year, a whole year. How am I supposed to stay away from her for that long?

I can't help but feel like shit doing this to her. I don't want it to seem as though I just came here for...

Maybe I shouldn't, for both our sakes. If we do this and I leave I won't be able to function properly.

This moment should be saved for someone that she loves..and someone who will be able to stay here and love her.

I start to slow down my kisses until I stop completely. I get up off her and move over to the edge of her bed.

I simply sit there and stare at a point on the wall. I can feel her eyes on me as she sits up. Damn what am I going to say.. It's so hard to reject her when I want her.

"What happened?" She asks sounding confused.

I say nothing not knowing what to say. It's killing me to stop myself but I have to. I care too much about her to hurt her.

"Feb?"

"I..I can't..I shouldn't.." I say without facing her.

"Did I..did I do something wrong?"

Did she do something wrong?! Why would she even think that? I'm the one doing something wrong. 

I turn around abruptly feeling annoyed that she would think this is her fault, "No! God no! You didn't do anything..it's me.." I point at my chest.

"I don't understand..."

Her face looks so fragile, like one wrong word and she would shatter into a million pieces. I hate myself for doing it like this, I truly do.

Yes, she makes me feel things I never thought I was able to feel. Yes, she makes me smile bigger than should be humanly possible. And yes, I think I do...maybe..possibly...love...her.

"I'm an idiot...I can't do this to you..." I shake my head.

"Do...what?" She asks, biting her lip to stop any type of tears from falling.

"Hurt you.." I finally say.

She looks at me and parts her lips as if she's about to say something, but she stops herself and looks down.

"How would you hurt me?" 

I contemplate what I should tell her and what I should keep to myself. I can't help but feel weak while looking into her eyes. It hurts me so much to see her this way.

"I..I don't think this is a good idea.."

"What? You don't like me like that?" she asks, her voice searching for answers.

I chuckle at how crazy her question sounds, "Alex, do you realize what you've done to me?" I reply sitting down in front of her. "I can't stop thinking about you, and you think I..you think that I don't like you?"

"Then why did you stop?" she whispers quietly.

Should I tell her? Saying it in my head isn't as hard as saying it out loud. What if she gets really pissed at me? I need to say something, I've been quiet for too long now. Here goes..

"I had to..you said it yourself that I'm leaving soon. I don't want to hurt you by us doing this then just disappearing, it isn't fair on you. And Alex, it's going to be so hard not seeing you that if we do this, then I'll go crazy not being around you." 

We don't say anything for awhile we just look down at our laps. The only sound filling the room, is our breathing and the ticking of her clock. 

Why do I feel like there's something gnawing on the inside of my stomach? Like I could just collapse at any moment? I need her to say something, why isn't she saying anything?

"Alex?" I whisper gently.

It takes her a few minutes to get back into reality, "You know what? You're right."

My mouth drops at her comment but I quickly hid my shock. She doesn't even give a shit. I'm right? I'm right? I thought she would at least try and convince me to reconsider. But no. She couldn't care less.

"Great, glad to know we've got that sorted out," I reply bitterly.

"Feb what do you want me to do? If that's what you want then I can't stop you!?" she whisper yells.

"You don't even give a shit," I mutter.

She looks at my and raises an eyebrow, "I don't give a shit? Are you serious? I care about you February, more than you know. But you're right...." 

Tears start streaming down her face, causing my heart to break. I hate seeing her cry and I hate it more because I'm the reason she's crying.

I close my eyes and sigh, "Alex, please don't cry.." God she knows my weaknesses. I wrap my arms around her as she cries on my shoulder. I wish I could always be there for her to lean on and to protect her, but I know it isn't possible.

I plant an kiss on her forehead and lean back and cup her cheeks forcing her to look at me. Her nose is puffy and her eyes look glossy from the tears.

I look at her and she looks at me. God, it's really hard not to kiss her. I can't stop myself from looking down at her lips. No, I need to stay strong, I need to keep my distance, I need to...stop looking at her lips.

"You should go, it's getting late," she says looking into my eyes.

"Yeah..you're right.."

I let go of her and stand up from her bed grabbing my shirt. I let out a shaky breath and walk over to her window. Just before I go I here her voice behind me.

"Feb!" she calls.

I turn around and look at her, she is standing now with her hands behind her back.

"Thank you...for everything.." she half smiles.

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EXTRA A/N

Is Alery over? Wait till tomorrow to find out ;)

What do you think is going to happen? Leave your thoughts.

Question. Would you read a "Before March Comes #2", would you read it?

bye again xoxo 

💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚

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