| LUCID |

Chapter | Eleven

Alex

Before lunch at my school, we have twenty minutes of free time. You can hang out in the hallway, courtyard, or study. Today I chose to sit against my locker. I had a pounding headache and the cold metal was the only thing that was sort of helping. Yesterday with Caroline keeps replaying in my mind. I can't believe one guy can cause someone to act that way. I would understand if they were in a committed relationship and I was the knowing mistress... but she's insane. Elena called me when I got home and we talked about it for hours. She told me she would have killed her if it were her. Elena is able to bring humor to any situation, which is one reason I love her so much. 

"Hey, Alexandra." A nightmarish voice interrupted my thoughts. It incited immediate rage from me. 

 "You have some damn nerve talking to me after what you did," My voice was stern, yet quiet. I stood up and got in Jordyn's face for a change. I felt my heart racing just from the close contact with him. My rage is overtaking my fear, but my body still has alarm bells ringing. 

"What exactly are you referring to?" He held a smile on his face while he spoke. He doesn't care one bit that we're almost nose to nose. I can tell he finds this more than amusing. 

"You know what!" I raised my voice at him. Surrounding students began looking in our direction, causing me to take a breath. "You sent your friend to feel me up, Jordyn. You of all people know what I've been through- Why would you do that to me?" My voice came out a pained whisper this time. I felt my eyes sting from past emotions trying to rise to the surface. My heart was actively yearning for the person he used to be. His warmth, his light, his friendship. I can't believe it has been taken this far. 

"What the hell are you talking about?" His smile was starting to fade, and he had anger pricking his eyes. 

"I was at the ice cream shop and Will touched me multiple times-" I began, but his face just kept twisting with confusion. "He said you sent him to say hello?" I added. My voice turned into more of a question due to his demeanor.

He looked more pissed off than I've seen him in a long time. "I never told him to do that," He whispered. "I'll deal with it." He promised. He turned in a split second and began walking toward the exit. On his way out of the school building, he punched the locker which echoed through the hallway. I jumped at the sudden noise and shook my head at him. At this point, everyone was staring at me. I grabbed my keys and made my way through all of the staring people to the exit door. I can't do this today. I should have taken a mental day after yesterday. I just didn't want people to see me as weak, or make her think she was getting to me. I have to be stronger than that. Bullies feed off of reaction. I felt a large hand wrap around my arm and I turned around to be met with familiar brown eyes, when even at this moment if I let them, would make everything disappear. 

"What part of stay away don't you get?" I whispered to him as I wiped my face. He had the guys behind him, staring at me in concern and curiosity.

"I'm just trying to make sure you're okay." He responded quietly. His hand came up to my face, gently brushing a stray tear away. I almost wanted to lean my face onto his hand and just let go, but I know I can't.

I took Ethan's wrist and removed his hand from my face. I looked over to Grayson, Jackson, and Landon who were already looking at me. "Look you guys have to stop. Stop with the hallway stares, and stop caring. It's everyone's best bet." I said to them. My voice felt weak, like I could barely get another word out. Jackson shook his head at me before walking in the other direction. Grayson's eyes have always spoken for themselves. He's in pain, and for some reason, it seems as though he wants to reach out. I felt another tear approaching my cheek. I turned and began walking towards the school doors. I felt my hands bawl up into a fist, and my eyes squeezed shut. I feel so overwhelmed. I have anger, sadness, longing all in my heart. I feel desperate for a man and friends that I cannot have. I feel betrayal from an old friend. I feel emptiness from the absence of anyone I love. 

It will get easier, I try telling myself as I approach my car. I could barely see anything through my tears. "It will get easier," my voice was shaking, and was completely fooling itself. Things will not get better, Alex. Just you wait and see. 

-

--

---

vote and comment , luv ya