| LUCID |

Chapter | 27

Alex's pov

I pulled into my driveway and saw that Ryan was home. I took a deep breath before opening my door. I don't want to argue with him anymore, I just want to talk to him, as my brother.

I closed my Jeep door and started towards the house. I slowly turned the knob and walked in. I set my keys down on the table. I heard a noise in the kitchen so I'm assuming that's where Ryan is.

I walked into the kitchen and saw not only Ryan but a girl too. He had the girl sitting in front of him on the kitchen counter, and he was intensely making out with her.

Ew ew ew ew .. we eat on that. Not anymore.

"Not trying to interrupt but," I cleared my throat loudly, crossing my arms over my chest. Ryan jumped back and looked at me with wide eyes, and I looked back at him with the same ones.

"Elena?" I asked looking at both of them puzzled. "Alex, it's not what you think." She tried to say in a quiet voice.

"Don't be mad," Ryan said tilting his head frustrated. He seems annoyed with by constant judgment.

I'm not mad at all.

"We eat on that counter," I mumbled, before turning around and walking upstairs. I'm not necessarily mad, I'm just wondering why Elena didn't tell me, or how I didn't know.

I slammed my bedroom door and jumped in my bed. I pulled the shirt I was wearing up to my nose and gave it a long sniff. I miss Ethan already.

I felt my shoulders, and they were very tense. I walked to the bathroom and ran a hot shower. I stepped in there and massages my muscles. I feel them unwind, if only my head could do that.

I wrapped a towel around my body and wiped off the mirror that was fogged up. I slipped on shorts and a t-shirt and walked out of the bathroom.

I jumped when I saw Ryan sitting at the end of my bed. "Ryan, don't you know how to knock? What if I didn't have clothes on!" I yelled throwing my towel at him.

"Are you done being dramatic?" He asked setting my towel aside. "Yes," I responded after a moment, crossing my arms. "Can I at least explain what you saw earlier?" He asked looking down at his hands.

"What I saw? I saw the only friend I've made making out with my brother." I scoffed quietly, "I really like her if that even matters." He defended himself. 

"I'm not mad at you for wanting to be with her." I responded, sitting at the opposite end of my bed. I love them both, so if they're happy I am.

"Your not?" He asked surprised. "No, contrary to popular belief I love you, and want you to be happy," I replied, shrugging. Ryan and I haven't talked like this in way too long.

"I know you're mad at me Alex." He started, looking at me with a guilty look. He wasn't referring to the Elena thing.

"I'm not mad at you, I just don't feel included." I tried to explain. "Alex, the things that are withholding are protecting you. I know you don't understand now, but you will soon." He looked at me.

"That doesn't make me feel any better. Whatever it is, I deserve to know. Like it or not, I'm apart of this family Ryan. It's not only Brynn." I raised my voice slightly, but keeping myself calm so neither one of us leave.

"Alex, and about what happened at the school," He started with a guilty look on his face, "Ryan you didn't mean to," I argued,. "That's not the point. It still happened, and I can't forgive myself for it." I heard his voice crack, an unfamiliar sound to me.

I walked over and sat beside him. I know he didn't mean to do it, so I'm not going to let him beat himself up over it.

"You didn't mean to, and I know you would never do it again. Okay?" I said putting my hand on his arm.

"Okay." Is all he managed to say. He looked into my eyes with guilt in them. "Mom's okay, if that makes you feel any better." He spoke as he stood up.

 "That doesn't make me feel better, I have so many more questions," I responded as I rain my hand through my hair.

"I can't," He spoke in a whisper. "Then I can't either." I felt a burning sensation in my chest. I felt tears brimming my eyes. "What do you mean?" He said, on the verge of tears too.

I grabbed a large bag and started putting clothes in it. I filled it with anything that I would need for a while. "Stop Alex." He begged, trying to take my clothes out of my hands.

I yanked away and put the remaining clothes in the bag. I've never seen Ryan cry, tonight's a first for a lot of things.

"You have one more chance." I managed to say between my tears. He didn't speak a single word, he just pleaded with me through his eyes. We're both so exhausted from this same argument, I can't keep doing this. I don't have it in me. 

I scoffed at his reoccurring silence. It can't be this bad, if I'm in that amount of danger, my mom would be here.

I pushed past him and went down the stairs. I grabbed my keys and slammed the front door as I went out of it.

I got in my Jeep and started driving down the road, probably 20 over the limit, but I don't particularly care at the moment.

I drove the to first person's house that popped into my mind, without thinking twice.
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Idk this book is kind of flopping so I might just stop writing

edited (5/14) ^ glad I didn't lol.