the action of officially allowing someone to do a particular thing; consent or authorization.
synonyms:authorization, consent, leave,authority, sanction, licence,dispensation, assent, acquiescence,agreement, approval, seal of approval, approbation,endorsement, blessing, imprimatur,clearance, acceptance, allowance,tolerance, sufferance
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9:52 pm Busan
This night had a special kind of darkness to it. Made as if with ink - spilled across the sky. Serene and romantic (the noir type), beautiful and terrifying. So black yet careful not to pitch out the world.
It was more of a clean sheet. A canvas. Especially made for the stars and the moon - which tonight, happened to hold this sort orange/yellow tinge.
If warmth was a colour it would be that. Shining stronger then the darkness, wrapping around me generously with it's light. Holding me in it's warmth. Even if the night did technically have the tips of my fingers numb and the end of my nose red. It still held me, in a way that I wish Lisa was - fighting off the white space, or I guess black space - negative space.
But she remained still. As I did too. My last words somewhere gone with the night.
I feel something too I had said.
A terrifying but honest reply to a... confession?
My mind swirls and yet my body does not.
I can't quite comprehend what's happening. These last few weeks have been havoc. Absolute mayhem.
From the moment I met Lisa, it's felt like a rollercoaster - I know cliche, but it's true. One minute I'm having the time of my life, and the next I'm scared out of my mind, nauseous and desperate to get off.
And yet here I am at the end, looking at her. She with an unreadable expression and me with what I imagine a look of absolute fear.
I so want this to be real -- her truly wanting me, they way I truly want her.
Need her.
It's a desperate affair, a quick fall into a world I never thought could exist. A place of hope. Of happiness.
But still I stop myself, the terror of it all keeping me from giving in right here, right now.
I'm confused. I don't know how long we've been standing here, how long it's taken me to grasp what she's said and what this could mean but... I'm even starting to get impatient with myself.
